Just discovered Lemmy while browsing for Reddit alternatives, so let’s break the ice with this first post.

  • klemptor@startrek.website
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    2 days ago

    What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to? My dad is 75 and I love listening to him talk about seeing bands like the Dave Clark Five, Crosby Stills and Nash, and The Lovin’ Spoonful.

    What advice would you give women in perimenopause? (Night sweats are killing me, send help!)

    What’s your favorite memory?

    • jadepagoda@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      I’ve always supported women’s rights, but I don’t consider myself a feminist. First and foremost, I can’t support an ideology that considers women inherent victims (victims of the “patriarchy”). As a woman, I reject that notion and premise. If you put feminist principles and victim mentality characteristics side by side - they basically become a circle. I just don’t find that a healthy mindset to have - I even find it a bit insulting honestly. Secondly, I don’t support demonizing an entire gender (men). Thirdly, most of the feminists I’ve personally interacted with have been nothing but condescending, judgmental or straight up hostile because I chose to get married young, not pursue a career and focus on house and family, letting my husband lead, etc. when I have never been anything but supportive of career women, the stereotypical modern woman archetype, etc. I also don’t appreciate being made into some sort of victim by them because of the lifestyle I chose to lead. To me feminism is a militant group. I’ve also noticed that in the last years feminists have started to adhere to a lot of right wing positions (anti-trans people, anti-sex work, sex negative, anti-pornography, etc.). Modern feminists tend to see women as a monolith, if you deviate from what they believe is right - you’re the wrong kind of woman: which ironically enough is also what the anti-women crowd believe: I guess it’s true what they say, if you go too left you’ll only end up right and vice versa…

  • August27th@lemmy.ca
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    3 days ago

    What were the 1980s like compared to the 1970s? Unrelated to my last question, of all the decades you have experienced, which decade was the best/peak decade overall, in your opinion (and a little about why)?

    • jadepagoda@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      The 1980s in my eyes was a stable, distinct decade but cynical and kind of drifting back in terms of society (the start of the war on counterculture, the hippies had cut off their hair, were born again Christians and advocating against drugs now). On the other hand the 1970s felt like a continuation of the 1960s - counterculture, chaotic, felt like we were headed to greener pastures. 1990s was in my opinion the peak of modern US and the last great American decade. End of the Cold War (the fear of nuclear war was real), the dawn of global technology, kept the good parts of the 1980s while getting rid or improving the bad parts. It all ended with 9/11. That was a societal shift that we never recovered from.

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        I’m 20-years younger but felt the exact same about those decades! The 90s was indeed the peak and 9/11 beginning of the end.

        • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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          3 days ago

          Lots of millennials & outside of the US feel the same. Especially seeing the effects of modern tech on societies too I yearn for simpler times. It’s sad because you’d think they’d solve so many of our problems, make us globally more informed, but the opposite kinda happened. Everyone’s in their own disinformation safe space / bubble and radicalizes themselves further, causing everyone to just drift further and further apart. Class clown type people become annoying menaces and stream to a clout of equally annoying people, further reinforcing their behavior and pushing them to become more and more extreme for their perverse entertainment. Everyone throws a camera in people’s faces the moment they feel like it. Institutions push for more and more mass surveillance methods and idiots feed the same models through TicTok, Instagram and other superficial media.

      • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        I feel you on 9/11 killing the post Cold War honeymoon. I was a kid when it happened and it really felt like the death of my childhood innocence in a lot of ways.

  • Cheesus@lemmy.ca
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    3 days ago

    Where are you from?

    Do you have children?

    What do you think about your country’s current political situation?

    • jadepagoda@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      The US. Born and raised in Massachusetts. Husband is from NYC, studied in Boston 1965-1971. We got married in 1968, lived together in Boston until 1971 when we moved to NYC. Him and I have been living in Thailand for years now though, on a very advantageous 20-year visa (Thailand Elite Visa). Yes, 1 son born in 1971, who’s living in Switzerland. Depressing.

      • Cheesus@lemmy.ca
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        3 days ago

        Okay, cool. I live very close to Switzerland (close enough that my wife works there.) As I am also an anglophone living in a non-anglophone country, Lemmy is basically my sole source of English language news and whatnot. It’s sometimes very difficult to be surrounded by another language and culture, and this place has become my escape in a way. Reddit was great back in the day, but I can no longer support the enshitification it has suffered.

        Welcome home!

      • OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml
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        3 days ago

        Why do you find it depressing? Because he doesn’t visit or?

        The way I see it, the son moved away and is clearly living an exciting life

  • illi@lemm.ee
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    3 days ago

    Considering the season… what are your favorite Winter Holiday (would assume Christmas but whatever you are observing - if anything) traditions and how did they evolve over time?

  • Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 days ago

    Do you occasionally play videogames ? I’m asking because my parents are younger than you (they are in their early 60s) and tech literate but for some reason it never clicked with them, nor did “internet culture”. Like, I would be extremely surprised if one day they started expressing interest in stuff like Reddit (let alone Lemmy) and I’m trying to understand why. So I guess my followup question is how did you get into Reddit ?

    • jadepagoda@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      I don’t play video games. I liked the format of Reddit and I like socializing, that’s how I got into it. Just randomly came across it one day.

  • IsThisAnAI@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Are you prepared for endless doom scrolling, Linux nerds yelling at you, and engagement with the most angry nerds, socialist, anarchists, and tankies? Do you have any idea where you’ve landed here?

    God speed on your first day!

    • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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      3 days ago

      Mate, you’re the guy who called the ban on menthol cigs a “nanny state” move that causes the rise of “fascists”. You’re literally part of the problem.

    • nnullzz@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      That’s where the home page and filters come in handy. Subscribe to the things you enjoy, filter out the junk. Anything news related, I don’t subscribe to. I’ll come across it on All.

      • IsThisAnAI@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        So you see like 4 posts a day? These tools don’t fix any problems around little content. I can be in here maybe a half hour before I’m getting 2-3 porn posts for every repeat or news from languages I cannot read.

        • Flubo@feddit.org
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          3 days ago

          It really depends on what you describe to and what you click on. I seee mainly nice conversations. And habe too much content to See all.

        • nnullzz@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          Well a NSFW filter exists for a reason. Since enabling it, I literally get none of it on any feed.

          And like I said, my Home Screen and subscriptions are catered to topics I enjoy that show none of the shitty news. Sure maybe tech articles or stuff like that, but no doom and gloom. I get to see plenty of fresh content. Also depends on what sort setting you use.

          And frankly, if I’m scrolling for anywhere near half an hour, it’s time for me to get up and do something productive for myself.

        • jadepagoda@lemmy.worldOP
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          3 days ago

          I got married at 16 in 1968. Had my first and only child in 1971. Focused on taking care of my family and house, practicing my hobbies and being sociable. Doing what I loved.

          • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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            2 days ago

            I envy you.

            A good friend told me her mum was similar always stay at home. She briefly got a job at Sears about 40 years ago and quit “because it was getting in the way of my life”.

            Sometimes the clarity of a SAHM helps you realize how fucked up the corporate world is.

  • j4k3@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    At 40, I am convinced that we cosplay as adult characters to hide our inner child, mostly from ourselves. Some seem to allow the stresses of life and responsibilities to make the mask indistinguishable, but I doubt any truly make it real. Do you wear the mask of age over the eyes of your inner child? Does age hold a meaningful value to you beyond the comradery of shared experience?

  • ERROR: Earth.exe has crashed@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 days ago

    Does the computers that you can put in your pocket (aka: smartphones), and the internet feel like magic to you?

    Do you fear death?

    How long do you think you still have to live?

    If you knew you were dying in 24 hours, how would you feel and how would you spend this time?

    • jadepagoda@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      Yes! Especially the Apple Music app… unlimited music completely at your disposal; such a dream. No, I don’t. Hopefully a lot cause I want to make it to 100! I’d bid farewell and end it preemptively, there’s nothing I hate or that sucks the joy out of things for me more than anticipation.

    • jadepagoda@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      Nature and solitude + my husband except for that one time when he was the cause (he had an affair). Music, good food, company of loved ones, books, a good night’s sleep… the simply joys.

      • dhcmrlchtdj__@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        I’m interested to hear more about how you worked through your husbands affair, if you’re open to talking about it

        • jadepagoda@lemmy.worldOP
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          3 days ago

          Sure. I found out about it from some mutual friends. Honestly my first reaction was, what a dumbass… if you’re going to cheat at least do it smartly and properly so that no soul knows about it. Funnily enough at first I was more disappointed in him for being stupid, I believed he was an intelligent man. I wanted to know every detail and he came clean about everything. Cut off all contact with that woman and put in the work to rebuild trust… a bit of a surveillance period. Either way, I knew I would never leave him just over a one time stray away; but of course he couldn’t know this. I appreciated he didn’t lie when confronted about it or try to victimize himself, justify it, make excuses, etc. He was very frank.