I was running for my train. After entering in the station airlock, for a reason i still can’t explain, i turned right instead of continuing straight ahead and BAM, i hit a glass with my face. Now i have a little scar, fortunately hidden behind my eyebrow.
Got born
Partially tore three quadriceps muscles and two calf muscles break dancing at an arcade bar when I was black out drunk. Just didn’t know when to quit until it was too late. Both my primary doctor and the person who did the MRI thought it was hilarious. To be fair, it was.
When I was ~10 I was running around the house with a white bedsheet over my head. I was pretending to be a ghost while I chased my older brother around the house. Unfortunately I slipped backwards on the sheet and hit the back of my head on my mom’s solid oak coffee table. Immediately blood started soaking the sheet red and I obviously screamed out in pain. My mom came running into the living room to find me screaming and the sheet just turning more and more red.
At this time we lived about an hour away from the nearest hospital and my mom knew if she tried to take me in for stitches that I would probably bite the doctor or something (I have a pathological fear of needles). So she opted to shave my head and tape it shut. Then she instructed my brother to keep me awake for the next few hours (she was worried about a concussion) and she let me watch whatever movie or play whatever video game I wanted for the rest of the day.
It healed fine and now I have a small scar on the back of my head that is only visible if I shave my hair super short.
I was stuck at home for several weeks after a back injury. I was on Vicodin and could barely get out of bed, no tv. So I started beating it. Well, with Vicodin, it makes it very difficult to finish and I lost track of time. By the time I had finished, I realized I’ve been at it for 5 hours. My dick hurt for 4 days afterwards, and the Vicodin didn’t really help with that pain.
😆
Unzipped my fly at the urinal, started my business, unconsciously learned forward towards the end - as one does - and smashed my face against the wall in slow-motion with 15 drunken dudes silently watching because I forgot I have no toes.
No toes?
Not a single one 🙂
Pourquoi?
Got my ponytail stuck in my armpit somehow, twisted my head rapidly to look at something and yanked on it. Not fun.
Broke my wrist by blocking a gigantic remote control car flying directly at me at 50 MPH and I was the person controlling it.
No one? ‘Airlock’. Is this 2160 or something?
English is not my mother language, i used an automatic translator for this word. In french, this is called “sas d’entrée”.
It’s the small room you find at the front of stores that has one set of doors to the exterior and one set of doors to the interior. It helps prevent the warm/cold air from getting in.
A vestibule
I fell off a first floor balcony, helping in a move. Landed on a bush, bounced off it, and came to a stop on a stone paved floor, after breaking a kitchen cabinet with my shoulder and back.
Cut my brow on a twig in the bush, twisted my left ankle, scraped my left shoulder, elbow and hand.
Would do it again.
Hadn’t I leaned too forward to release a foot of the cabinet, it would have tumbled down onto another person, with no warning, straight into their head.
So… worth the scars and bruises.
Once dropped a machete and instinctively tried grabbing it mid-fall as if it were my phone.
Still got the scar 10+ years after the fact lol
A falling
knifemachete has no handle.
I bought a new pocket knife when I was 16 and immediately started testing it out by slashing at the Bouganvillieas in the garden. I followed through too hard and slashed the thum on the other hand,took out a scallop the size of a 5c piece, but not all the way. Got it stitched back up but I still have tingling there to this day.
I was 17 and drunk, had a new pocket knife and saw probably the largest traffic cone I’ve ever seen in my life. The better part of 2m tall(over 6ft), and that cone was asking for a shanking. All fun and games until the lock on the blade failed and the knife closed on my thumb. Walked 4km to the closest 7-11 where I guy I knew worked so I could use the first aid kit. Probably should have gone to the hospital…or at least a GP. Healed up mostly fine, just if I have quite a long gaming session using a controller that thumb will lock bent and I have to force it to unbend…
I had a very sturdy, energetic dog who loved chasing a thrown ball. He was tied to a long rope (about 100 feet). I did not pay attention to where the rope was and threw the ball and he exploded from my side and flew like a rocket after the ball. The rope, unfortunately, was tied to a tree in the direction I was throwing but was curled behind me. I was wearing shorts and as the rope started to be pulled away, it pulled up against both of my calves and abraded all of the skin from the backs of my legs away in a moment, and then the rope was pulled taught, deftly swiping both of my legs out from underneath me, dropping me backwards onto my head on a stone patio, splitting my scalp and spraying blood all over my white canvas outdoor furniture. The dog looked very proud for catching the ball when he loped up to me afterwards.
Last christmas, I was splitting wood with a wedge and a sledgehammer, and the sledgehammer broke. It didn’t hurt anyone, but my dumbass decided to pick up the sledgehammer head and start smashing away. My pinky slipped, and got crushed. I didn’t break any bones, surprisingly, and made a full recovery.
It’s simple. I accidentally bump my head on something above me, whether it be the top of a bunk bed or a staircase handle where I’m sitting nearby.
I swear I do that more often then I should when getting in and out of my family’s van.
I was going to carry a 5 gallon jug of water on my bicycle. I was just going to let the bicycle handle the weight by balancing it on the top tube between my legs, as I had already done a number of times before.
But this time, as I lifted the jug to place it on the top tube, it came down just a little too far back and totally smashed my left testicle!
“Five gallons of water weighs approximately 41.65 pounds (or about 18.9 kilograms) at room temperature. This is based on the weight of one gallon being around 8.33 pounds.” - DuckAssist
OUCH!!!
For the next few months, my left nut was misshaped, thank goodness it didn’t outright rupture!
You are supposed to wash your nuts with water, not squash your nuts.
