we’re gay and we turn it into a discussion on the differences in our tastes

Whenever this thought pops up in my head i like to remember 2 things. 1 I love my partner and I dont want to hurt them. 2 I remember how things were before my partner and the ratio of women i find hot vs the amount of women who want to have sex with me is probably about 1000000 to 1

The same way I act when I’m not in a relationship with someone. I ignore them, cause they are way out of my league.

In my day we had memes etc. with advice like: never make a decision before you’ve cranked one out. Or something to that effect. Yep… They’re super hot… But most of them are probably not your type (or aren’t interested in you) mostly like what being single was like 😅 so try and remember that and remind yourself of that. Also, it may be helpful to tell yourself that nothing constructive or positive comes of working one’s self up over the physical appearance of a person… But I do feel ya, bud.

“Hot” is only on the outside.

Treat these people like humans. With normal respect and politeness. Get to know them.

You will find that they have their strengths and their weaknesses etc. and even some details that turn you off.

“Hot” is going to fade away once you know how real and how normal people they are.

I point them out, but as I have said before - there is no person in the world good looking enough that I would want them based only on looks, looks to me are a straight yes/no binary, there is no + for looking better than “yes”. Everything else matters more, as long as you are in the “yes” category. So I’m not really attracted based just on looks.

If I know the person I might flirt but not do anything, just sort of use that feeling to amplify what I get at home - technically I do have some latitude as long as I ask husband but haven’t exercised that in years, am satisfied and dealt with some HPV that I feel lucky cleared at my age, and all the experienced guys my age would have some variety of that, and it’s just so transmissible. So that ties my hands, and not in the good way.

Well, I’m ethically non-monogamous so if it’s mutual I just act on it.

Monogamy? Suck it up. Focus on the good things in your life.

Non monogamy? See if they’re also open, and ask them out.

I would recommend treating them the same as everybody else?

This probably sounds like some sort of line, but I really don’t notice other people

I can see someone and recognise that they’re beautiful, or even sexy, but I don’t find them attractive

My woman is the most beautiful in the world, and I just don’t have any interest in anyone else. I really don’t notice them