God dammit…I gave you a good faith upvote, and then clicked the video for what I assumed would be an amazing horse swimming video.

…dammit Rick Astley! Stop dressing up like a unicorn!

Really? You never used kung-fu to disarm swat teams, killing dozens with their own guns, while never taking damage yourself? You never sped through your local streets as tanks shot mortors at your toyota geo?

You’re telling me your wife never saved you with rockets fired from a helicopter in a high speed highway chase?

Yeah…you didn’t read a single sentence of the comment you replied to, did you? Aw hell. What makes me think you’ll read THIS far into the message??? Tiktok is just what this generation has been needing. An entire generation of kids who don’t waste their time reading!

Ok, let’s say I have no interest in Jailbreaking my PS5.

What happens if I just don’t have PS+? And no intention of getting PS+? Will this make it harder for ME to play disc games? Or games I downloaded from the store?

May I introduce you to RadioShack? Where they used to prompt you to sign up for a credit card, ask to record your personal info on a RadioShack loyalty card system (that nobody seems to remember), and one time, the lady asked me to impregnate her. I’m unclear if that was RadioShack policy, or if she was just itching. Either way it was kind of messed up, because I was 14. I looked and sounded older, but I was 14. She was like 30ish.

Yeah…try that in CVS.

“No no, I’d rather NOT have a reciept that’s 3 miles long, because I bought a candy bar…”

But we already cut down 3 trees just for you!

“No.”

"Oh, you’re taking this irrelevant slip of paper! We have armed guards to make sure you do! There is a world war 2 tank outside that will crush you, and blow up your car! I know it’s not really a war worthy tank, and in that sense it’s obsolete, but it can still more than handle your toyota geo. Now then…take…the…reciept!

NEVER!!!

GUARDS!!!

And then a Kill Bill-esque fight scene breaks out. You know, like when she fought the crazy 88s. Except instead of a group of ninjas headed by a 14 year old Japanese girl, it’s a group of swat team members headed by a 17 year old CVS register worker wearing a red CVS vest that he uses as a choking hazard on you in the fight.

Your goal is to dodge bullets, matrix style, while disarming one guard to shoot the rest of the guards dead, so you can fight this CVS employee one on one, as wave after wave of reinforcements constantly change the dynamic of the battle.

Finally, after defeating all the guards, you return to your car to return home, and as you make your turn onto the main road, thats when you see it. A world war 2 era tank firing mortors at you, as you’re forced to weave all over the road. Other cars exploding, you’re all over the road, a helicopter has joined the chase. Suddenly the helicopter is firing air to surface missles, and as you dodge them, they blow up the tank.

The helicopter then lands right in front of you on the highway. As you prepare for the final battle, the door opens it’s your wife. You both embrace, and take off in the helicopter. Forever on the lamb. Always running from the threat of CVS employees that can strike at any time.

And then there’s guys like me. I don’t announce when I’m coming. I grab the items myself, and then I pay in cash. Nonsequential bills. I’m like a ninja! I can’t be traced! Shashasha!!! Pocket sand!

Then on the way home, if I see someone following me home, I make 3 left turns. If they’re STILL following me? I turn around, and I shoot them…a dirty look!

What? I’m not a psychopath. I just don’t like being followed.

I’m not even sure it encourages piracy. That would assume amazon has content people want to watch.

Name an amazon show…

See? You can’t do it. Nobody can! It’s like trying to name lost media from the silent movie generation. Nobody would know what you were talking about if you did name one.

Password is WeirdAl.

Call it “the app formerly known as twitter”. It’s what the media does. It would piss off Elon, and it has a whole prince vibe to it.

Twitter has never, even dating back to it’s inception, never ever ever turned a profit. The whole reason Elon mockingly offered to buy it was because they were looking for, and struggling to find, a buyer. They just wanted to break even and walk away.

Instead Elon was like “Hur dur I got 43 billion for ya!” And Twitter was like “SOLD! No takesies backsies!”. And Elon was like “Wait, wut?”

And then Elon carried a sink through the lobby in protest.

I don’t know what to make of this. Regular tiktok just is sooooo offputting to me. The 50x overlays. The voiceovers which are the basis of the content, with the video that has NOTHING to do with the content. The chinese spying. It’s all just very bad.

But then I remember a federated version would be…different. I can’t imagine it would be like tiktok with text overlays. I can’t imagine the content would be similar either. It’ll be like “here’s the better way to sudo your linux…”

Which, as someone who doesn’t care about linux, I’d find it less offensive, but still wouldn’t care about it.

All in all, I’m not excited for it.

Pin at Cleveland Ohio.

“Location: Cleveland Tennesse”

Wut.

Obvious russian troll is obvious.

I assumed it was from falling off the scooter…

Yeah! The foot may be super complex, but it’s not durable AT ALL!!! It’s super ticklish! All you gotta do is strap someone down to their bed, and tickle their foot for like 2 minutes, and they’ll give you their bank account details!

And if they don’t know their bank account number by heart, then I guess they’ll just have to get tickled…all…night…long!

Hey, come lay on this bed for a second. I want to test these straps on you. What? No. Totally unrelated. Pinky swearsies.

…yeah. Where the fuck am I getting Wendy from??? Even the previous message I was replying to said “Lucy”. God dammit brain. I’m going to need you to not get dementia just yet. I’m only 41…

Does texas not have early mail-in voting?

Have you not heard of all these red states that ban books, burn them, and have begun censoring the internet? Like 6 states now can’t access pornhub because those states have decided that those websites are illegal in their state.

Well, do you think that stops at JUST porn??? Did you not follow the net neutrality battle of the past 15 years? Have you not heard of project 2025?

They take 2 inches, we push back 1 3/4th inches. They push 2 more inches, we push back 1 3/4th inches. Well that just means they’ve gained 1/2 an inch. Now apply this same mentality to at LEAST the second term of Obama. It’s a continual thing that just keeps on going a little bit worse everyday. And does not have an endgame in sight. They want more for themselves, and less for everybody else. They want things to be like russia basically. They want a nation of uninformed, easily manipulated, easy to control consumers. They want to control the narrative of what YOU need to buy, and what you’re ALLOWED to do with your life. That’s why they’re anti-abortion. An aborted fetus is just one less consumer for them to make money off of. They don’t give a shit about “purity of life”. They care about money, power, and control. It’s ALL interconnected, and the internet is the biggest tool humanity has EVER had to combat their agenda.

And my point in all of this is, there are people out there, who are completely unaware, not caring that their rights are being taken away, little by little as the years go on. Nobody looks for it. Nobody seems to notice. And that’s the point of this, is to MAKE people aware. To point it out, and let people know to watch their surroundings. Question things around themselves. Why are things the way that they are? Follow it’s roots. Figure it out through independant research. A well informed populace is the biggest hinderance towards a facist agenda.

I’ve been saying for a few years now that I don’t blame anyone anymore for biting the onion. It is FAR TOO HARD to figure out what is life being absurd, and what is an absurd satire headline.

The lines aren’t blurred anymore. There are no lines. The lines have ceased to exist at this point.

I don’t understand life anymore, and I’d like to go back to politics being boring instead of being a circus.