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Cake day: November 7th, 2023

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  • As a guy who used to be on bumble (met my partner there) I will say that any conversation that started with ‘hey how’s it going’ just went nowhere 100% of the time. It’s so easy to ask literally anything else. We don’t know each other, what’s the point in asking how it’s going if all you’ll ever get as a reply is either “good, and you?” which doesn’t break any ice and introduces a lull on the conversation 4 messages into the chat or if it’s an honest “pretty shit, actually” the tone of the conversation becomes immediately weird because you don’t know each other enough to pry into that.

    Things you could ask:

    • cuddled any cats lately?
    • what made you smile today/this week?
    • what song have you played on repeat lately?
    • play any games lately? (depending on if they list games as their interest, most matches I got listed board games)

    This way you’ll immediately either find common ground or find differences between your everyday experiences that you can talk about.





  • Rev3rze@feddit.nltoADHD memes@lemmy.dbzer0.comThe thing
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    3 months ago

    Funny how using planners was an integral part to my therapy to cope with adhd. The thing is that I had to be taught and learn through cognitive behavioural therapy how to do that and how to make sure it actually helps me instead of just being another stressor.

    All that to say “just use a planner” is terrible advice but not because planners are the enemy of the adhd brained person. Just wanted to say that in case anybody reading this goes into therapy and dismisses the notion because it’s become a bit of a meme around here.





  • I’d argue that you can’t go through a door without opening it first, even if it’s only to let one person in temporarily. Just this one time would still entail opening the relationship, if only briefly. What if Lara really enjoyed it and wants to keep doing this? What if you don’t like it and Lara does, how do you go about that?

    Questions I don’t need the answers to, but you and Lara absolutely do. Up front, not after the fact! Talk it out until there’s nothing left to talk about and then revisit all of the discussed points to make sure there are zero questions unanswered for all three of you. It can get real complicated real fast if anything is left up to the imagination and someone gets hurt.

    Good luck!





  • To me, an ignorant person who has only begun to seriously question capitalism after being exposed to lemmy for about a year, this visual analogy seems to imply that capitalism and fascism are thought to be distinct in the eyes of the maker of this meme, though. I think the suggestion of having them both be homelander conveys a different message which seems to be the consensus here: they are different sides of the same coin.

    Admittedly, I’m out of my element here but I’m enjoying the exposure.


  • I lost some respect for jables here, the way he’s seemingly throwing Kage under the bus… But at the same time I can recognise that JB has always tried to keep up a positive persona. Not apolitical but he’s never been the type to promote violence directed at specific people. Kyle did him kinda dirty by doing something to potentially harm that (assuming he was truthful when he said he was blindsided by it, and not just saying that after it blew up in the news).

    Not saying Kyle is wrong and Jack is right here, though. I’ve always felt a little bad for Kyle that Jack put tenacious D and therefore Kyle on the sidelines when his Hollywood career took off. Kyle was rightfully quite jaded about that and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s led him to doing this without considering the possible consequences for Jack.

    The whole thing sucks for both of them, I guess.