EDIT: Thanks so much everyone. Great answers. This has been fun. Keep it going as long as you want!
DISCLAIMER: Silly Thought Exercise: NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OF REPLACING BIDEN. I personally do not think replacing Biden is a good idea at this stage in the election. I think that’s more dangerous than keeping him, sadly, but he’s who we’ve got. I’m just looking for shitposty thoughts on this question, please and thank you.
What-over-the-top absurd person would you choose to replace Biden who you think could actually body Trump, and why?
For an example, my choice would be based on the idea that the only thing that makes a bully like Trump wilt is a bigger bully. Secondly, US citizens love trash talking and sports and absolutely will vote for someone who is already famous, they certainly love their celebrities. Finally, what better sport for trash talk than basketball?
In that, my choice would be basketball legend Larry Bird. (he’s famously apolitical, so it’s hard to know if he would actually be politically aligned against Trump.)
…but, the thing is, Larry Bird is a masterclass trash talker.
And that is really what throws Trump off and throws him into obscene tantrums where his composure is lost and he comes off like a whining loser: when he’s been taken down a peg by someone else. Nothing sticks deeper in his craw. I don’t think he could handle Larry Bird’s level of shit-talk, Bird is like god-tier.
I can imagine Bird calling Trump out and saying he can smell his shit-filled diaper from across the auditorium, obviously Bird would describe more colorfully than I. The thing is, I can also see that absolutely throwing Trump into hysterics.
Also, at 67 Bird’s a fucking spring chicken compared to Biden or Trump.
So, I’m hoping for answers that are a bit silly, like this. Larry Bird is obviously not actually a good choice for this. I just like chuckling at the idea, because real life has gotten so absurd I need to hide in even deeper absurdity.
What’s your absurd Biden replacement? Please, I think we could use some laughs.
I’ve been watching clips of Tig Notaro standup lately. I think her smack talk would go over Trump’s head (most does that is anything beyond anatomical or golf related, tbf) but I would enjoy her deadpan zingers.
Real answer is any seasoned politician under 60 should be able to talk circles around him. Both sounded bad last night, Trump’s only win was in comparison to Biden’s energy level.
Oh yeah, Tig’s a great choice, a very measured and cool head in response to his drivel.
I’ve been trying to watch her show and can’t get into it. I’ll give it another shot.
I watched clips of her on late night shows before I tried getting into any of her standup. Her standup is very dry and deadpan. I haven’t seen her TV show of the fictionalized account of her and her wife getting together, doesn’t really sound like my jam.
To me, she is the epitome of “don’t need a lot of formal education to be wicked smart”.