Imagine seeing one of these and believing that you’re so special that you don’t drain other people’s social batteries. So you get offended when you learn that you go.
Not everyone feels drained by talking to people. I’d say most people don’t. Some people, a lot of people actually, get energized talking with people.
Not everyone feels drained by talking to people
And those people wouldn’t be wearing this pin.
People that feel drained from socializing feel that way with everybody.
I get energized from conversation and would totally wear this pin
I think it would be funny to slide it up throughout a social event
This pin is not made for them. What is your point?
The point is that you don’t need to think you’re special, or have some unique arrogance to think that you don’t drain people’s batteries. Younger extroverts have no awareness that there are people who get drained through human interactions.
I think you described quite accurately the difference between introverts and extroverts.
Extroverts gain energy with social interaction whereas it costs energy for introverts to be in these social interactions.
Something something social vampirism?
Two extroverts talking would be both charging without anyone being drained. Masturbatory vampirism.
Hehehe. Thanks for the chuckle!
I believe scientific studies say it’s somewhere around half of each.
The reason you don’t see that, is because it’s considered socially unacceptable to get socially drained, so we learn to hide it, usually from very young.
Yeah I was very ready to disagree with it being most people as that is far from my experience. I also come from one of those northern european countries that others describe as cold and closed of because we have a much more introvert aligned culture. And the fact that I’m someone who gets drained probably also biases my sample to more like minded people.
You’ve just charged my battery!
Imagine a barista with a pin that says “Here are some of the soft skills that this job demands and which I lack.”
Yeah, this really is one of those things where if you’re not okay with a little idle chatter, it’s probably not the right job. And I say that out of admiration for baristas and other service workers. I tried working a service sector job when I was young and I didn’t last long. I just wasn’t any good at it.
I feel bad for folks who are introverted and not particularly strong. Almost every job with a low barrier to entry demands a lot of physical or emotional labour.
I was thinking about gamifying spoon theory in a similar manner.
It’s in Balatro style. Normally, you have a limited number of spoons each day, which you need to spend on doing things. If you overspend one day, it will raise your burnout levels and your meltdown chance, as well as having less spoons for the next few days. However you can gain various extra spoons and/or kitchen utensils, so you can have a better chance at surviving the day.
One spoon is enough for me thanks
I’m literally eating with my hands right now.
I’m a big proponent of fork theory.
Basically, fork this shit we are all forking forked.
Isn’t spoon theory just a convoluted way of saying you have limited energy for daily life activities?
Yes but for some reason when you tell people you don’t have energy they don’t believe you. Because they think mental energy is an infinite resources you can just force out or something
Yes. Why spoons? Makes no sense.
I like to use D&D’s concept of spell slots. Some activities are cantrips, I can do them every day no problem. Other activities may need a leveled spell slot, and depending on what else I need to do I might not have a spell slot available, or may need to use a higher level spell slot for a low-level activity.
Main difference is a long rest IRL doesn’t always give me all my spell slots back.
From the wiki, the idea comes from an essay that somebody has written about a conversation they had with a friend about the struggles of chronic illness. The conversation took place at a restaurant, and she grabbed the spoons for use in a metaphor because there were spoons nearby. She gave her friend a set of spoons, and every time her friend mentioned doing a task, she took a spoon away.
It could have been anything, but spoons happened to be at hand and she wanted to make a physical representation of an abstract concept. The essay resonated with people, so spoons became entrenched. And now I hear people say that they’re all out of spoons to express the idea that they’ve done all that they can that day.
Oh. I thought it was supposed to be about how hard it would be to do stuff while carrying around spoons in your hands all day.
I think it is a case of using a purposefully absurd metaphor because more straight forward ones are too obviously in conflict with basic immutable, toxic aspects of people’s belief systems (drilled and blasted through in their childhoods) that function to labotomize their empathy for the hardships of others.
You know how like other cultures use fairy tales and myths to talk about taboos or impossible truths so does “western” culture use the absurd framework of spoons to talk about the “impossible” state of being incapable of what the ruling class demands of us daily.
Poké Ball Theory
Red = asshole mood, Green = asshole mood, Wearing pin at all = asshole
Red = I inform people on my current mental state
Green = I inform people on my current mental state
Wearing pin at all = I inform people on my current mental state
Taking care of yourself is step 1 to being good to others. Ignoring your depletion only leads to growth of anger and worsening relationships with people around you. Ain’t it better to let them know you’re not in the mood and this has nothing to do with them personally?
This is about the most asinine, self-centered thing I have ever read. Do you think this employee is going to check the mood of each customer? Hell no. The customer comes first and if an employee of mine showed up with this one morning to work, they would be asked to remove it, as it is a distraction from the goods and services I am offering. Keeping a job is taking care of oneself, and taking care of the customers, including interacting with their requests, no matter how tiresome and mundane, is part of the job. If everyone had a pin on like this, everyone would be constantly looking at each others pins thinking, “ Oh, can I talk to them today?, oh my, I hope I am not stressing them”.
Grow up or get a job you don’t have to talk to people.
The most asinine, self-centered thing I’ve seen today has got to be you assuming that the emotional state of your employees, which the goods and services you offer depend on for sales, is something that they should simply magically suppress for the sake of customers.
Do you think this employee is going to check the mood of each customer?
Buddy, if every customer going through the checkout line at the grocery store I work for had this pin on, it would make judging how much small talk people want loads easier, and would save me, and them, a huge mental headache. That said, if only I were to choose to wear that pin, I don’t think indicating to customers how up I am for small talk would make me an asshole.
If you were my boss, and wanted to deliberately disregard my mental state because you felt it would make you a few more bucks, that would make you the asshole.
Get your priorities straight.
Have a great day and thanks for the advice.
It would absolutely be nice to regulate your expression based on how another person feels. That’s basic empathy and compassion.
And even as a customer, I do care about people who deliver services to me, and do not want to make their day worse. Moreover, I think treating workers as something more than soulless dispensers might bring us all closer together, and help us understand each other, which ultimately leads to more love and care in the world and less isolation - which, in turn, is considered to be one of the primary ways to combat mental health crises.
There is no mention of any regard for the customer. Is the mental health of the customer important in this instance, at all? This is a popular post and there is obviously a generational difference of opinion, for me. It is about being polite vs. look at me and read my pin. There is no interest here in how the customer is doing. It is like saying ”you’re welcome” vs “no problem”. In my world, “you’re welcome” is the proper choice of respect and “no problem” comes across as rude and uncaring.
It is important! No matter what, an employee must be polite and do their job. Moreover, the customer can have a pin as well, which may dictate how they should be approached.
Who fucking beat you as a kid? Good god.
Imagine getting this pent up and angry OVER A FUCKING PIN. Im sorry but if that’s the way you act over a piece of metal, that’s entirely a you problem. If you get mad because someone wants to express how they currently feel at the time, THAT’S ON YOU. Its fine to disagree, but being a mega dick about it is another fucking ballgame. No wonder customers prolly dont fucking like you.
The pin may not even fucking be for the customers, It could be for SHIT coworkers like you who act like fucklords over someone elses business. You’re the type of person that if you were a teacher and saw a child using a sparkly, decorated pencil or showing a shoulder, You’d shit yourself screaming before sending them to the principal’s office.
It’s obvious here you don’t need the pin, your personality is enough for people to go “Yikes! I really don’t wanna talk to this guy”
I like you, Cock_Inspecting_Asexual. You have a way with words.
Daw thanks :3
You’re fired. You know nothing about me. Bye. 👋🌈 Blocked.
Oh no, I’m fired from a job I never got and a job you never managed. Sobsob
Guess that hit too close to home for ya huh?
if everything smells like shit wherever you go, it’s time to look at the bottom of your own shoes…
~(i’m saying you’re the asshole)~It isn’t supposed to say “I don’t want to talk to you”, but rather “I’d love to talk to you, but I’m exhausted”. They’ll also probably still talk to you, but just won’t be able to be as energetic.
How is 🙂 an asshole mood though?
Mine would always be red.
Well maybe if you remember to plug it in every once in awhile
So that’s what I was doing wrong, just needed to use a plug to recharge!
Yeah, just make sure to plug it into the right port this time.
An icepick counts as a plug, right?
Ive been considering getting one of these honestly. as an introvert there are just some days where I really don’t want to talk to people but retail doesn’t care about that and I need money. at least having some kind of gague seems better than just glowering and hoping i don’t have to deal with small talk
You’d just be drawing more attention to yourself… Or inviting a challenge
“let me fix that for you”
- drags it to positive
I’d rather take that then yet another soulless ‘how are you today’
You don’t think people would go “aww how come you are down? Let me cheer you up”?
It’s worth realizing some people do not want to be cheered up. My understanding is the misery, for lack of a better word, is more comforting to many as it reminds them of when they were young (or they emulate what they saw around them as children)
It’s worth realizing some people do not want to be cheered up.
I get that 100% and, although I am sure I made the mistake before, I am trying hard to understand and respect these boundaries
I am just saying I believe wearing such a pin to avoid people would have a noticeable cobra effect
Ahh I get u now. Yeah, that’s totally true
just reply with “no, i’m not”
Do it the German way and just trauma dump. I mean if they didn’t care they shouldn’t have asked.
In Germany “how are you” is also smalltalk but you are not expected to lie. Just keep it short.
“Wie geht’s?”
“Nicht so gut gerade und bei dir?”
People do that to me all the time. I just seem to radiate safety and people dump everything. I get that they need it, and sometimes (when I’m in a good headspace) I’m happy to provide an outlet for people who need one, but it gets really exhausting. I don’t even like small talk, I only bother with pleasantries because I’m supposed to, apparently.
(That trauma dumping is totally not the norm around here…)
i’ve tried that but then we both lose
Someone has seen that in german? Hard to find in all that noise of psychology books.
if you can’t handle dealing with endless insufferable people and decided to sign up for a barista job, then that’s definitely on you
Hey look it’s a comment from the parallel universe where we live in an anarcho communist society and don’t have to work to live. What’s it like being able to make coersion-free choices about how to spend your time?
Exactly, just be born to rich parents smh my head
Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to pay the bills!
That probably includes not offending the customers lol
That depends, some people need to be offended and get a reality check. Otherwise just muttering imprecations jnder your breath against humanity at large will get you through the day.
Barista is also traditionally supplemented by tips, which are likely to suffer if you’re wearing a pin that makes the customer feel like a burden.
“Traditionally” in US
Let me translate that.
If you get overworked at an exploitative minimum wage job, then that’s definitely on you
There are many different minimum wage jobs out there. Speaking as an introvert who has had several of them, if small talk is that taxing for you then you should consider a job with less intrinsic social requirements.
No matter how endless or insufferable people might be, that job may still be preferable for someone than the alternative opportunities available.
Assuming that the person has any other opportunities.
this just drained my battery
Very classy, victim-blaming people that need to eat and pay rent.
i was a barista for well over 10 years (as an introvert to boot). it’s 100% a side gig. it may cover some food and gas, but NO ONE is paying rent with barista pay, especially since they cut labor every time it’s “slow” for 20 minutes.
i stayed there because of the free pound of coffee every week and flexibility, but don’t act like it’s always the only thing between the workers and homelessness
on the one hand, victim blaming is bad, and we shouldn’t do that. On the other hand, there isn’t a shortage of bullshit dead end jobs that don’t require previous experience, so you can absolutely get a job that is more or less customer facing if need be.
I definitely feel like there’s a correlation between jobs being entry level and being customer facing. Also in many jobs of any level you still have “customer management” even if that customer can take different shapes than the usual retail crowd, but that’s not always a good thing.
Restaurants have kitchen staff. Retail has merchandisers and night crew. I’m sure I can come up with more if I put any effort into it whatsoever. I’m not saying that customer facing jobs aren’t the majority of entry level positions, but they’re far from all of them.
Looks like various places sell them, here’s an Etsy one I found: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1596896586/my-social-battery-funny-lapel-pin-hard
Cheaper on Aliexpress - https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256805606378142.html
How are they so cheap? Also how can that other person just resell them marked up and not feel like an asshat?
I need this exact pin. You can save some money and make it without any moving parts.
“how are you doing?”
“I’m alright”
“Oh, just alright?”
Social battery falls to zero
I’ve actually bought some of these for some autistic children I used to work with. It gave them agency, even if they weren’t able to communicate it verbally.
If I see anyone wearing this I will make it a mission to get it down to zero. Then I’ll come up with efficient strategies to grind it down. I’ll try and beat my new best time. I see this as a challenge.
But the best part is? Once it reaches zero, I leave them alone. Because I still respect them as a person
semi-related but my economics teacher on the first day said “you can’t offend me, I’ve been a national football/baseball/other sport coach for 20 years. I’ve been called every name in the book!”
3rd week of school as he was talking about how socialism is the devil, showing videos of cubas abandoned builds and stuff, I said “I did the math and you make 0.0006771% of what Jeff bezos makes in a year.”
He admitted defeat but still didn’t give me extra credit like he said he would as a joke :/
If you were given me that attention, my gauge would go green.
What if they’re working, or have other obligations that require social battery charge? Your personal mission may have ruined their day.
Are you an energy vampire?
YES
Just wearing this isn’t an open invitation for people (read: you) to be pieces of shit and nothing anyone is wearing gives you the right to monopolize their time or energy.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Buddy, this is a good way to get some unlicensed dental work.
Joke’s on you, I would slide it down all the way to zero as soon as I leave home
The smart thing to do
“One of the best ways to drain people’s energy is via the internet.” —Colin RobinsonI really like brutalism, especially when contrasted with greenery. A set of brutalist apartment blocks, with ample space between each of them, which contains native flora would be rather beautiful. The space between the blocks could also be used as a communal barbeque place. Or a fitness trail.
Why is the side that says “I want to be alone” red and the social side green though?
Because it’s directed at other people and instructs them on how safe it is to approach you
There is a difference between having a smaller social battery, and being asocial.
this comment broke my brain
