- cross-posted to:
- lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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I once held a shit in for a week. Literally 7 days. I was in the hospital and forbidden from using the toilet and using the portable bag toilet in the room with 6 others was not gonna happen so I held it in. Nurses gave me laxatives because they were concerned but I beat them too.
After finally being allowed on the toilet, I basically filled the bowl to the top and clogged the toilet. Yes, it hurt. I now know why and I’m never doing it again.
Maybe that no poop challenge guy has tips for next time.
My friend poops once a week. He claims he told his doctor and they said it’s “on the edge of normal.” It freaks me out though. I’d feel so bloated all the time.
One of life’s simple pleasures.
There’s nothing about that paragraph I didn’t like!
I felt that.
Now that’s one shit experiment to figure something specific out.
That’s nice, dear.
the bowel is wider than your asshole
imagining a nurse using the word “asshole” to explain it to a regular person is just hilarious to me.
My mom had to get a colostomy last year after her bowel ruptured, and she spent a month in ICU recovering from sepsis. The nurse there, when she was finally awake, tried explaining everything to her, but she had some pretty severe ICU delirium, and just couldn’t comprehend everything she was saying, especially when she was using medical terms.
Eventually, the nurse said, “girl, basically, you don’t need your bootyhole no more. That’s now just for your husband and lonely weekends”
At which point she fully understood, and I died inside.
TIL my butthole is a PlayDo’h Fun Factory…
God bless nurses explaining things in simple term a child can understand.
I mean -1 for no mention of the poo spoon.
Spoon? You mean knife?
No no, that’s toilet stuff. The poo spoon is a classy device to elegantly remove rock hard turds from an anus.
We have finally found The Forbidden Knowledge
just hold your poop in
But now, from a medical professional, so you know it’s legit.
Putting the Shit in ShittyLifeProTips.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve had moments of pure despair as I feel like one’s gonna tear me in half.
A real porcelain shatterer.
I ended up occasionally chugging about half a liter of water before going, because this started happening.
That seems to actually do something very useful when I think I’ve not had enough water prior, but I don’t actually know the details of how the body moves and uses that water. It intuitively feels like 2-3 minutes should be too short of a time-span to start doing useful work, but it still seems to work.
In general not using piddly little 0.2l glasses and instead keeping a large glass or bottle with me isn’t just helpful, it’s vitally important. I simply can’t get by occasionally drinking small glasses of water. Other than the first day I’d resolve to start drinking more water again, I never went to fill them up enough times to actually get sufficient hydration for my size.
Additionally, I’ve learnt to feel my hydration on my lips, if they’re dry I need a drink. But I am an unreliable, irrational actor. I don’t always pay enough attention, or stay on top of things even if I notice, so I’m likely to resort to desperately chugging water again.
The way I understand it is that your colon will work harder to reclaim water if you’re dehydrated, so staying hydrated will help keep stool softer overall. That said, rehydrating while constipated (or immediately before a bowel movement) won’t make a real difference since the water has already been absorbed from the stool and it can’t add it back.
I would imagine your drinking lots of water before, if you do it consistently, is probably just contributing to your overall hydration which makes it easier next time.
Just eat a handful of sugar-free gummy bears every morning before you leave for work and it will be so super easy to poop and clockwork regular.
I think if you’re going to take a daily laxative you should just get an actual laxative.
“Actual”? Sugar-free Gummy bears are legit laxatives and they are adorable gelatinous bears that come in fun colors with great flavors.
Calm down, Haribo sales rep.
Chiming behind the lemming who said the water a few minutes prior going won’t do anything. It certainly won’t do absolutely anything no matter how much you drink. Once the bowel absorbs the water, adding more water to your body won’t restore moisture to the stool.
What probably happened in your case is simply peristaltic movement, some people are more sensitive to it. So chugging a generous amount of water stimulates your gut tissues and encourages things to get moving along.
Going back to the water - of course if you stay hydrated and keep things hydrated it will help. But you cannot rehydrate a stool just by drinking.
the water a few minutes prior going won’t do anything.
That depends entirely on which end you put the water in
It’s like a fuckin’ howitzer when it reaches the release point, for real
After holding in a shit for a couple hours yeah. Literally shitting bricks at that point.
Hours…?
You may want to see a specialist about that, my guy…
Other way around bud, most of us aren’t here shitting our pants just because a bathroom isn’t around.
No; I mean if it becomes that much pressure after that little time, I’m not sure that’s super normal.
Did you not read it is jot pressure just drying out so much it hardens.
Why would I do that? I had to hold it in because there was no toilet around for a couple hours.
Were there any sinks?
Reddit certainly did have it’s moments, didn’t it?
The Kevin history was wild
Yeah Kevin is still one of the all time best to beat.
Also the lazy boat captain.
I was going to mention that one. I don’t think they were the captain though.
I never heard about that captain
Now you have.
have its* moments
Ah, just like Reddit now!
Reddit was better when the community did actually enforce basic grammar.
lol u tk him 2da bar|?
I will arrest you
Kinky.
Uze ur fuziesct handcufts
I’ll always remember the kid who broke both his arms and his helpful mom.
Or the cunnilingus jolly rancher
Was that because of the same reminders over and over, every other thread?
That’s something I certainly don’t miss.
I wouldn’t call that a forgettable kind of story. Sure I forget most of the details, but the main points would probably even survive Alzheimer’s.
At the end of my days
Laying in hospital bed
Wits gone
Turn to nurse as she walks in
“And the coconut had maggots in it…”
I prefer putting whores before descartes.
Strange. I prefer putting Descartes before the whores. They tend to have interesting insights into his ideas
Strange. I prefer putting Descartes before the whores. They tend to have interesting insights into his ideas
Between that and Colby, you have the full spectrum of Reddit sexual encounters.
Impressive that he still managed to break his mom with two broken arms.
yeah I sort of miss that … getting shittymorphed too was always a joy
He was here when the app shit show first happened
I think the question OP didn’t want to ask was, “does all of this dick in my ass affect my poops?”
