Despite almost two months of not gaining weight despite feeding on demand, our daughter is finally up to the 41st percentile for weight gain by age and is hitting her developmental milestones. Trying to focus on those positives instead of all the negative emotions I’m harboring right now. Trying to remember that she’s a tiny little vibe-o-meter and that my primary focus has to be her well-being in spite of everything else that’s going on.

I want to post my thoughts, but at this point, I feel like the country has gone so far off the rails that I need to keep an eye on my op-sec. Suffice it to say that I’m devastated, exhausted, but filled with a new resolve. This post (a bit of a long read) has been helping me refocus and move forward: https://wagingnonviolence.org/2024/11/10-things-to-do-if-trump-wins/

I gotta say, this was a weird week to start HRT.

got my early vote in on friday, since i suspected the lines were going to be long today.

today is my birthday. 🥳

sheepdog festival last weekend was great. echo got to hang out and get a billion pets from all kinds of people, which is her favorite thing! she also had her first hotel stay, which went really well. she only barked three times (at the shower).

last night, our first rally submission was recorded, which i sent in today for judging. pretty sure we’ll get a passing score, easy peasy. i want to look into some more virtual titles we can do, since i get ring stress pretty bad. 😅

Absolutely fucking shit.

Sorry. I thought things would be different. Sorely disappointed is an understatement.

Dropped off my absentee ballot earlier today.

Update on Linus (our kitty who experienced kidney failure last week): Last I posted we were waiting to find out how much his numbers had gone up. It turns out his creatine went up quite a bit. It was over 3, when normally it should be 1.5 or lower. The vet said at this point it’s possible it could go back down (he didn’t seem optimistic about this), stay the same, or go up more. We’re taking him in again on Thursday to see what it is then. If it stays the same, we probably only have about two or three years left with him if we keep him on a renal diet.

He has a lot of his personality back and has his full appetite back (yesterday was the first time he ate his usual amount of food since he’s been hospitalized), but his energy level is definitely lower than it was before.

I voted early. My partner voted today. Took 2 hours. We both have anxiety because of the 2016 result. All the polls were looking good, then we woke up in what felt like the wrong reality.

It’s all everyone is talking about. At work, in my apartment building. Even the sports bar down the block had election coverage on. It’s unavoidable and inescapable. I’m watching a movie to distract myself. Then I’ll turn on the news once the polls start to close.

I was an election judge in 2020. I’m kind of feeling guilty for not doing it this year. But I don’t have the capacity. I’ve been feeling straight up burnt out for most of the year with no end in sight. I’m actually thinking about calling the employer EAP.

I always celebrate all the wins in life , no matter how small. October and so far November have not had any of these. I really hope I wake up with good news.

About to get a lot worse!

Time to sleep, hopefully when I wake up the USA isn’t at civil war 🤞

not great

but about to play some gameboy so that’s good

Slept <5h each day since last Wednesday.

Fucking tired. Sleep hygiene rules don’t help.

Will probably try sleep meds today.

Lol

Sad, disappointed, and worried.

Good so far. My wife and are currently in Miami waiting for our connecting flight to Jamaica. We have been looking forward to this for months. Getting everything ready was stressful but we are very excited. This will be my first time leaving the US.

my partner and I are still numb from everything. We have the necessary documents together in case we need to leave the country quickly. We’re going to take enough money tout of the bank in case the banks crash or something like that. We’re getting ready to get ready.