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If disney does what disney usually does, LOTR will be dead to me.
They’re already doing it with TV shows, animated films etc. Disney would just do more of the same, I’d imagine…
I can only imagine what Jolkein Rolkein Rolkein Tolkein would make of it all.
Who cares what any of the movies do? The LotR is originally the written work. The books are the substance.
Lots of jewellery. Got to bring it all back to the old volcano. No fly zone for eagles, again. Damn.
One bracelet to rule them all. Two earrings to find them. A necklace to bind them. Maybe a fancy gold watch.
honestly the idea of a blinged out bad guy who is only powerful due to their 500 enchanted pieces of jewelry is pretty sick, their one crippling weakness is that every step makes them jingle like a christmas carol
jingle-jingle
Legolas: Oh shit… Glamrond the Fabulous draws near…
jingle -jingle
Gimli: What do you hear with your elf ears?
jingle-jingle
Legolas: He is… Dripping with Rizz…
oh god and of course they’d have a pimp stick for a wand, perhaps yeezys of the traveller?
Perhaps a diadem? The ol HP-LOTR crossover?
Sauron checks under the couch cushions and BOOM, more profit!
FWIW, Palpatine also came back in the original storyline past ROTJ before Disney retconned the EU. Though they didn’t gloss over the “how” bit (he always intended to survive forever and had a clone factory hidden on some planet and used something similar to the force ghost, only he was able to posses his clones).
In the original story, he threatens Luke and his friends while Luke is alone, so Luke goes, “ok I’ll join the dark side”, gets some training, then switches back the first time he gets ordered to do something he didn’t like.
The basic message was “turning to the dark side was only so final for some Jedi because the order itself considered it something that couldn’t he undone, while Luke did it easily”. Some of the video games touched on this, too, where the light side and dark side were just tools and it was how you used them that determined good and evil. It was also a big theme in ROTJ itself, though not heavily explored after Vader turns back.
There’s hints of this in the sequels, but IMO they didn’t handle it that well, especially with Luke and Kylo.
I feel like when people make fun of this, it isn’t so much Palpy coming back that they have a problem with, but the sudden and unexpected nature of it. It’s such hack writing, and it only happened that way because audiences didn’t like TLJ and the people making ROS decided to backtrack on every single one of TLJ’s plot threads out of fear instead of making expanding on them for a satisfying finale.
Through means never fully explained (unless you buy the comics and video games), the ring getting destroyed was all part of Sauron’s master plan. The villain for the first two sequels is Samwise’s son Bobbit, who Sam tried to kill when he learned he was dabbling in dark arts. He’s redeemed by our hero, an orc that broke rank with Sauron after learning about his plan to, IDK, blow up the whole world or something, but he’s killed anyway to make room for our third movie reveal that Sauron was behind it all. Our brave orc hero must meet up with a haggard looking Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas to painstakingly re-enact the events of the Fellowship of the Ring, wander around with Gandalf and learn how to become a wizard, then kill Sauron and take the last name Baggins.
This is painfully accurate and I hate it.
Aragorn: “Somehow, Sauron has returned”
Elrond: “We’ll need a good plan to defeat him.”
Legolas: “And a new fellowship”
Gimli appearing from off camera: “and…my axe” looks directly at the camera while holding for applause
Disney doesn’t make movies. They make cringe fan fiction.
Probably would make more financial sense to Disney to just wait until it becomes public domain
I don’t know man, the rate we’re going 2044 ain’t lookin too good…
They’re gonna start again beginning with 1 AT
"This won’t work Sauron, I am all the Dunedaín !’
My name is Frodo… Frodo Skywalker.
use the schwarz, frodo!
Imagine all the Hobbits solo spin off shows that i you cant pay me to watch.
I would absolutely pay money for a slice of life hobbit spin off. No grand quest to save the world, just a few hobbit friends getting into trouble around the Shire and stealing veggies from some farmer’s garden before getting drunk at the inn. It’s exactly the feel good type of show I like.
I would also be interested in the high stakes political drama of trying to win the gardening competition every year.
Tolkien himself considered revisiting Middle Earth for a new “uprising”, but discarded it because it didn’t and probably couldn’t recapture the magic. Plus it probably felt too much like reality.
IIRC, he began writing another installment set in the 4th age, but abandoned it, because now that the main evils were dealt with, all that was left to happen was the world of men betraying each other, and it very quickly became a boring, depressing tale that just didn’t need to exist.
So basically he was going to write game of thrones? Although he may have actually finished it…
And maybe dany wouldn’t have kinda forgot about the iron fleet
The 4th age is game of thrones.
“The New Shadow”. He wrote about 13 pages and discarded the idea for reasons you mention.
Hollywood producers: “13 pages, you say? That’s enough for a new trilogy!”
[laughs in Disney executive] “each page is enough for at least a 12 episode season of a one hour drama!”
And we can always add filler through nostalgia bait. For goodness sake, audiences still don’t know where Aragorn got the boot he wore when kicking the helmet!
We need a light-hearted but edgy sitcom based around the the flawed but lovable family that runs the Prancing Pony.
‘It’s Always Sunny In Brandywine’.
Introducing the newest Middle Earth installment: “Tom Bombadill Kicks the Shit Out of Everyone”
Wherein Tom Bombadil restores the balance of nature by skipping across the lands, singing ditties, and punching everyone in the nuts real hard.
Long ago I read some incredibly cursed parody along the lines of “if LotR was a Disney animated film”. The songs were absolutely horrifying. I can’t find it right now, and I think it’s best not to subject you to it anyway.
Please do subject us, if you find it.
The ring was destroyed. But little did we know: it’s true purpose was to aid in the construction of a Death Star, which is now almost complete…
Well, Arda is Melkor’s ring. He’s going to re-shape it into a death star and blow up Illuvatar.
Oh no, it’s a ring dyad!
Technically, he had like 15 of them things.
Yes, but it was a bit like having a radio station and 14 small radios laying around 📻.
So one ring is a transmitter and the others are receivers.
“Welcome back to Radio Free Mordor. Now to tell you the story of how I taught the Elves craftsmanship, a story that Elrond doesn’t want you to hear.”
one ring to rule them all
20 to be exact, 9 human, 7 dwarven, 3 elven and his own
To be fair, the resistance being flabbergasted and in the dark at the return of their dead arch nemesis is actually quite reasonable. The return itself also harkens back to the prequels when Palpatine mentions Darth Plagueis.
The reason the Disney era movies are so underwhelming is a lack of soul and other writing blunders.
Honestly, the idea that the good guys win and then forget that they have to continue to be vigilant and let the evil they defeated come back is as topical now as it was in 2015
The movies feel like toddlers making up the story as they play with figurines.
That got me a chuckle. It does look like that.
Checklist movies. It becomes more important for the movie to have X element due to marketing reasons rather than plot reasons.
If the movie has more marketing elements than plot elements, it’s a checklist movie.
Episode 9, absolutely.
The Last Jedi is an anarchist critique of Star Wars that somehow got made into a Star Wars.
Honestly, I’d rather them have let toddlers make up the story while playing with figurines. I was certainly coming up with better plotlines than what they shat out with the sequels when I was a kid.
