I’ve been meeting up with a woman who is into CNC. She hasn’t seen my face, but I’ve filled her in her backyard and in a hotel room after tying her up on the floor and leaving a magic wand in her for an hour.

(Yes, we’ve shared recent STI results)

I definitely agree. I will say that when you eventually are able to make that threesome happen, ask nicely for a double blowjob. It is the hottest thing there is.

To expand on this, being older than bones is why you can’t find animal fossils in the Appalachian mountains.

The puffer fish should have been a pistol shrimp

Yes

My girlfriend and I went to a sex club where we did mostly vanilla stuff on one of the beds next to other people fucking, and I spanked her on a horse in front of a small crowd.

I’m about to fuck her awake in a few minutes.