Yeah skimming it very briefly, it looks like your instance doesn’t even show bot indicators, so, no way you could’ve known really. But there should be a button to turn it off somewhere in your user settings, probably down near the bottom.

I mean I can certainly understand where the confusion may have come from.

Thank god, for a second there I thought they meant “cracking down on people dodging Windows 11 by intentionally disabling TPM,” like I’ve been doing. False alarm, carry on.

Betcha there’d be more posts there if people actually knew where to get kites…

I know for a fact I’ve said I was going to “Xerox some copies” on a machine that was almost certainly not manufactured by the Xerox Holdings Corporation.

“Oh, this new post already has a comment, let’s check it out! … Dang it!”

That’s pretty much my gripe. One time I saw a post with maybe six, seven comments, opened it up, and they were all either the bot, or replies to the bot.

And even if you block the bot the post still shows up as having comments. So you’ll open up a post boasting the aforementioned six or seven comments expecting to find a lively debate, or at least a wisecrack about global affairs, and leave with a bunch of tumbleweeds and the lingering knowledge that somewhere, two or more people are arguing with a machine about whether or not it thinks the newspaper is any good.

Beyond that, it also just runs way worse; new.reddit takes at least twice as long to load a page than old.reddit. And when your entire business model is based on exploiting my stunted attention span to trick me into reading advertisements, you can’t give me that extra two and a half seconds to realize maybe I don’t give a shit about half the garbage I just mindlessly scrolled through, or else I’m gonna just go, like, fly a kite or something. And I don’t wanna do that, where do you even get a kite?

And hell, it’s entirely possible this rate limit isn’t just restricted to old.reddit, but nobody’s noticed yet because new.reddit is too slow to make 100 requests in a measly 10 minutes.

There’s always old reliable, “that thing over there”

“Complicit in faking the moon landing/covering up the Flat Earth™” are the obvious ones. “Space cadet” always a classic. These, being the low-hanging fruit, I think will be the ones we’ll see the most going forward, but I’d still like to throw my hat in the ring:

“An astronaut? You mean those guys that get off on flying their little rockets out of the atmosphere so they can breathe bottled air for a week? Like some sort of oxygen cuck?”

(obviously this implies a repubican pundit using the word “atmosphere” in a complete sentence, so I think we’re safe)

I’ve had nightmares containing the phrase “Vice President Shapiro” and I’d like to avoid having that image in my head for even just the split-second it takes me to disambiguate the two.

Also the other guy’s been to space, so.

Hell I have yet to see him have worth.

“Now now, Batman, you should know that when a little pest like you dances with the Bug Zapper… He’d better be ready for a shock!”

“And as we can see from this computer model of continental drift in the late Triassic era… AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, THE SUPERCONTINENT OF PANGAEA IS BROKEN IN HALF!”

Doctor Ruth died in-between those two; we’re onto a new set of threes now.

“Security footage shows several ne’er-do-wells in domino masks fleeing the scene with a number of burlap sacks, clearly-marked with bright green dollar signs, no doubt containing the compromised data. AT&T security suggests the culprits must have ‘jimmied open’ their servers with a crowbar, or perhaps a bundle of dynamite detonated via plunger from a safe distance. One suspect is currently in police custody after attempting to escape through a tunnel painted on the side of a brick wall. More on this story as it develops.”

Oh, yeah, I saw a documentary about those once, from the '50s. I Love Lucy, they called it…

Whennn the suit hurts your eyes / and shows way too much thigh / that’s a moiré

Shit, an emulator getting taken down for… actual copyright infringement? You don’t see that every day.

Well your corp don’t dance and if it don’t dance then it’s no friend of mine

And why do we bake cookies but cook bacon?