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For some reason the bank won’t let me take out an 8 figure loan to start my international piracy business. I’ll be starting up a gofundme.
You’ve got to stare hard at the bank manager and say, “look at me. I’m the borrower now.”
All you need to do is find a stretchy guy made of rubber
Buying a boat is a famously good investment
Break Out Another Thousand
It’s such a good investment that it’s why insurance was invented.
Thanks for the advice!
Hang on, I’ll ask my bank to give me a small loan of $20 million. I’m sure they will not laugh in my face and tell me to go fuck myself.
Nah, they’ll laugh at first, but then you’ll get taken upstairs and Jamie will open a bottle of your favorite Tequila, telling you that he thinks you need an even bigger credit line than you applied for.
Wait, you don’t run a wildly unprofitable company “worth” several billion dollars where you can use your equity as collateral for the credit line? Welp, sounds like a you problem.
Not a me problem. I blame my parents for trying to be good humans and teaching values instead of just enslaving people in apartheid-ridden emerald mines.
Tbh this particular joke was a reference to the WeWork fiasco and specifically the show WeCrashed, where the founder goes into JPMorgan Chase and asks for a 50 million line of credit after being pre-approved for 20k, then asks the clerk to google him and then gets brought to the bank’s CEO instead.
Of course, Adam Neumann was also a huge fraud, comparable to Musk in that both have been known to promise the world and deliver shit.
Maybe If you cut back on morning coffee and avocado toasts, you wouldn’t need a $20 million loan.
Have you tried asking mom and dad?
The guy I had told me to pull myself up by the bootstraps and I ended up finding $20 mil in my sock
Power of hard work and sacrifice right there, a true testament to the spirit of capitalism. If you can, all can.
Thank you mister president. I really want to thank you for what you’ve done for social media, politics, reality tv, MaCaulay Culkin, Chik-Fil-A, McDonald’s, diapers, Elongated Muskrats, (REDACTED), (REDACTED), (REDACTED), and the rest of you know whats up (REDACTED)
(END OF TRANSMISSION)
You can’t argue with that price. A new one will set you back 80-250 mil. Crazy that people are sleeping on opportunities like this
I have like 3K, if you come up with the other 19997000 we’re golden.
I’m $100k in the hole due to boomer parents telling me to get student loans for college since they blew all their money on stupid investment schemes, so can I give you an IOU or maybe like a hug or a handshake or something?
boomer parents … blew all their money on stupid investment schemes
Can I talk to your parents? I got a sure thing here.
How about we just do the hug thing and forget about the boat?
Sounds like a solid plan. Just send your 3k over and I’ll let you know they deliver our boat.
I eat enough beans that my body qualifies
Hereby I name you “The Vessel”
Oh my
Lemmy admin energy
What if the front falls off?
This may be be best bit of all time. I think about it far too frequently.
We’ll just tow it outside of the environment
Better hope you have good insurance, otherwise you’re gonna have to pay for it being towed outside of the environment yourself.
well this kind is not meant to do that
Not unless a wave hits it
but surely they test it for that?
A wave? At sea? Chance in a million.
big if true
Dump terrifying greenhouse gas methane into the atmosphere at industrial levels, go into debt if you have to.
You basically just described the energy/economic strategy of most of the world’s countries…
I’m contributing valiantly to this cause with my farts
The thumbnail image looked like four eggs, and the title still made sense.
I’ve definitely had natural gas that turned out to be liquefied. Luckily, I was on the toilet already.
Surely this is satire, right?
The original was a fancy watch
Interesting! This background story makes it much funnier: https://www.dailydot.com/memes/buy-a-rolex-go-into-debt-if-you-have-to-meme/
Does a regular ol’ Rolex actually ever appreciate?
Never thought of buying one and honestly couldn’t afford at the moment, but maybe start a small collection when I’m 40 or 50 so I’d have something to hand down to the kids besides boring-ass money?
Then again if I really wanted to flex that bad, I could just walk into a Ferrari dealer in shorts and a t-shirt and buy one. If I was rich enough to avoid Rolexes in the first place because apparently a Ferrari is like 4 or 5 watches.
There are certainly better investment options. You don’t see Jeff Bezos sinking his fortune into Rolexi
Oh definitely. You can’t really go wrong with an index fund tbh. I meant that as more of a theoretical: Suppose that you want to leave your (grand)kids something with sentimental value that also appreciates in monetary value, would a Rolex collection fulfill that purpose?
BRB, gotta check between the sofa cushions.
“I bought cardboard when it was 14 cents a ton.”
(ha - getaway car)
I’ll take one, when it gets cheaper than a house.
Ima just leave this here, Climate Town’s discussion of Natural Gas (or what we call Methane. Fart gas.)
He explains how it’s a LNG is really fucking everyone over. Some points:
- NG infrastructure is leaky and causes lots of non-point-source pollution.
- Methane was supposed to be a transitional energy source as we moved towards renewables, but instead we’re leaning heavily on methane while China is securing all the science patents and materials for solar.
- LNG is super inefficient. I think like 20% of it is used up in the liquification process, which is required for transit overseas. This is to sell it to nations abroad.
- Since we’re really trying to get to renewables, everyone buying LNG is a jerk, and everyone selling it is also a jerk.
- If even one of these supertankers has a rupture incident, it will fuck the Earth, and I’ll be sore as I watch wildfire ravage California, and by east coast buddies get hammered by hurricanes. Also we’ll be closer to permanent drought and then global famine.
- Seriously, Methane is bad. NG infrastructure should be moved away from as quickly as possible. LNG is really extra super bad, and can ruin our kids’ futures.
