You must log in or register to comment.
You say that now but wait till you’re sleeping in a tree (to escape the dinosaurs) and start to fall and there’s nothing to wake you! Then you’ll be sorry you wished away that “glitch!”
A. Add infrared vision to prevent burns.
And x~gamma ray to prevent nuclear radiation burns.
And some electromagnetic field sensors to prevent magnets from ‘being magic’.
Sorry no on the last one EMF research conclusively shows that magnets ARE magic. smh
I’m glad I’m not the only one who has nightmares of slipping on ice and falling down stairs when I sleep. The kicks I do are annoying.
-cartilage in joints can regenerate
-body can synthesize its own vitamin c
Other species already do these things smh.
We used to do the vitamin c but then were like its too easy to get elsewhere why bother.
RGB rules
photosynthesis?
We require too much power for it to suffice alone, but it would be nice to have as a hybrid source of energy!
Someone did the math for photosynthetic cows and they would only get about 1% of their energy requirement. It’s not viable.
Cows farm out their photosynthesis to things that have far more surface area than they do.
It’d be nice to have one big leaf on my back that I could use for shade and a snack. Doubles as an umbrella for rain.
Have you considered just carrying a big leaf around?
What about symbiosis with algae
I would absolutely go for 6 fingers. Preferably an additional thumb. Not to mention an additional joint in each. Let’s go base 12!
6 fingers feature already in development, available to some users in PTR
2.0? Bruh, humans are still on pre-v1 beta
Frankly, I don’t know how anyone can look at the absolute shit show that is the human body and go “yup, this was totally intelligently designed”
ironically we may well have been the only somewhat intelligently designed animal for a long time, since there’s a pretty good argument that we’re self-domesticated.
so like, we’re not just a prerelease, we’re a fucking fork of a prerelease
Apparently a lot of males are still in alpha.
Alpha roll-out for an entire cohort is in-progress.
Unfortunately the alpha roll-out had a major unpached bug causing a complete internal breakdown of the ethics and intelligence processing units in all those updated.
Some hypothesis that as alpha men now have the processing capacity of an ant, they may soon evolve a hive-mind. As this would allow all mental processing to be outsourced to a singular fat orange queen.
Edit: spelling
Ahem… maybe new players forgot this, but humans have been bioluminescent since the oxygenic respiration patch ages ago.
https://www.sciencealert.com/you-can-t-see-it-but-humans-actually-glow-in-visible-light
I want to know at what wavelengths. Did I miss it?
It bugs me that they say ‘it’s not infrared - it’s photons!’ (paraphrasing).
Its not clear to me either, but since they said visible, my guesses would be 680 nanometers or 490 nanometers, because, well, hydrogen.
The paper (which is very short) said 500-700nm and referenced an older (1997) paper that reported on a bunch of UV and visual emitting living systems. I looked there but didn’t pinpoint an answer. It did mention that the emission doesn’t usually have sharp peaks (as the reason they trade spectral resolution for sensitivity). It seems like the emitting molecules are large, so it’s probably pretty broad.
Anyway… that made me nice and sleepy.
I’d like to reengineer the mosquito to draw blood samples, identify viruses, then create and spread vaccinations.
- Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can’t properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.
So, I’m gonna have to deny this request on the grounds that it will necessarily break the speech feature, which many of our users depend on heavily.
“left user note to pause breathing while swallowing to prevent esophageal trespass when backup breathing interface used for food consumption. No change recommended to emergency breathing access. Closing DOC_UPDATE”
Wasn’t this a compromise that allows speech? Babies can drink and breathe at the same time.
I remember reading humans can still “breathe” amniotic fluid once they get passed the gag reflex. I remember wondering how someone figured that out… Maybe it’s just a theory
Yeah, it’s crazy to me that people believe we were “intelligently designed” when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.
you mean the slightly more muddy amusment park, that is next to the new, purprose built one, right?
They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.
There’s also the weird decision to put a bunch of easily-bruised bones in your butt which would normally be used for a tail.
I once had a creationist defend the coccyx as being necessary for keeping muscles together. That was fun.
on accident
Rather than by purpose? #54%
I’m a masochist but I have my limits. Lol
I think they’re calling you out on saying “on accident” rather than “by accident”
Are both not acceptable ways of typing that out? I know I’m bad at punctuation, grammar and spelling, but I thought you could say you did something on accident or by accident interchangeably.
Nope, it’s just by accident. Must be a certain demographic that seems to have fallen into the habit of saying it as I never hear people use “on” in real life.
https://www.juliatomiak.com/grammar-check-on-accident-vs-by-accident/
Apparently “on accident” has been gaining usage and “by accident” is generally used by the older generations.
I’m 93 so I don’t know where I picked up “on accident” but until this day I haven’t had anyone say anything. How interesting.
Must be just an American thing? I never hear anyone say it here!
Also, could you be on of Lemmy’s oldest users?!
You’re just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it’s just going to keep happening.
Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a straw without opening my mouth
-
separated genetalia from waste systems
-
removed body hair and baldness
-
fixed acne glitch
-
added ability to change biological sex, with default neutral configuration
-
rerouted laryngeal nerve
-
uterus lining is now reabsorbed automatically
-
reinforced spine and knees
-
simplified foot structure
-
adjusted mental pathways to better adapt to modern environment
Reabsorption of uterine lining is called being “in heat” in dogs and cats. It’s quite common in the animal world, and it makes all the males very rapey.
One of the prevailing theories about why humans pair bond is our males can’t tell when our females are ovulating/menstruating so it’s advantageous to be kinder and stick around for more sex.
TL;DR: I think that’s not a great idea.
i’m not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don’t want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated…
…perhaps we’d do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let’s just leave it like it is and not create horrors.
Just have us piss from asshole
Turn standing while peeing into an actual skill.
Tfw you accidentally poop in urinal
Birds had it right all along with one waste exit.
I do that already :(
Eat some banana
Are bananas known to help that or something?? I try to eat enough veggies but it still happens. Weirdly sometimes when I eat less veggies it sometimes gets better (but it also sometimes gets worse).
Honestly not sure, but I remember grandma giving me eat banana when I had wet poop to supposedly help
Ur an alcoholic
Edit: or maybe a vegan, idk. I’m an alcoholic so I calls em like I sees em
Since you mentioned that, we should add a auto-sober switch. Suspend drunk button for drive home. Resume until bed, clear drunk as soon as you pass out so you can get a good nights rest.
I’d like to be able to alter body hair density based on climate.
Remove hangovers
What’s the laryngeal nerve and what’s wrong with it?
I like baldness and body hair! They should be optional too
Smooth on top, rugged in the middle
Let’s also reroute the ulnar nerve, thx
added ability to change biological sex
PLEASE
-
These are the sort of genetic engineering/eugenists I want to see. None of that “deleting gay gene” or “breeding smart people” pseudo science garbage.
I think life would be a little better if we cranked up the gay gene. Y’all know how to party.
I thought you had to put something in the water for that?
That only makes the frickin frogs gay.
Make everyone pansexual. It would simplify a lot of things.
All eugenics is pseudoscience garbage.
In that case, let’s all marry our cousins and brothers!
That’s not eugenics.
It’s selective breeding to get certain genetic qualities, which is the definition of eugenics
It’s avoiding bad outcomes. Babies from closely related people often have problems. Practically every culture has a method of avoiding close relatives breeding
Eugenics is about breeding for desirable qualities, a eugenicist’s ideal person still couldn’t make good kids with a close relative
- remove redundant form of hemoglobin
Ah yes let’s make the entire system vulnerable so a single attack vector can shutdown every node.
