I’m about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I’ve told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.
Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I’ve heard stuff like “Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don’t take leave”.
To me it was a no brainer, I’m getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn’t taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.
I’m in the US so I know it’s a “strange” concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn’t affect at all. Again, it’s a state program available to almost anyone who’s worked in the past 2 years, I’ve talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that’s it.
I feel like I’m missing something.
People are idiots. Why would you give up a benefit you’re legally entitled to? Nobody is going to as much as thank you for that.
In the US fathers don’t have any legal right to take time off from work. It’s expected that you would miss at most a few days for the hospital visit.
Fathers don’t have a lot of legal rights there, don’t they (“There” as in USA)
So basically, the choice is to spend 12 weeks with those idiots or with your baby? Seems like a no brainer to me.
Men who brag how little time they spend with their kids shouldn’t be having kids.
I WISH my husband had been able to take time off. Those first few weeks of sleep deprivation are fucking ROUGH on your own. I think you did the right thing and that the child is going to get dramatically better care because his parents are actually sonewhat rested.
In the U.S. we’re taught to brag about how much we’re exploited, as if it’s a virtue.
It’s a very sick culture.
Come to the EU, noone will scoff at paternity leave here. On the contrary, colleagues will congratulate you for procreating lol
You’re the smart one. Fuck the haters. Ignore them.
Take the paternity leave with pride
I’m all for paternity leave, but there is a conflict between taking time off to take care of your newborn, and taking time off to breathe.
Newborns aren’t exactly a vacation.
Pretty sure THEY are the ones missing something. They’ve been brainwashed into thinking you should be embarrassed NOT to shun your family so you can be at work 24/7 to make someone else rich. Take advantage of that program while it still exists.
It’s the typical toxic corporate pressure.
Fuck machismo.
What you’re missing is some men legitimately hate their wives and children and dislike spending time with them. Others drank the coolaid of American capitalist propaganda. Your child will only be a newborn once and your wife will need the help. If anything you should be normalizing it by telling all your friends and colleagues how great it is and how happy you are to get to spend that time with your family. Never shut up about how awesome it is. Expound at length about the many benefits you personally enjoyed thanks to your time with your new child. Every man you convince makes the world a better place.
When I was born my dad worked for himself, he was never home and I can remember running away from him crying cause my mum was leaving the house. He found permanent employment by the time I was 2 because of this.
These men are fuckwits and will wonder why they don’t have or struggle to form a relationship with their children in later life.
If you hate her why would you marry or have kids with her? Its completely optional to have a wife or child.
I guess because people fall in and out of love, which is natural, so they start a family and later everything changes. Also because people’s personality changes with time and because they tend to conform to social expectations.
Social pressure. “When are you getting married? When are you having kids?”
For some people, that’s enough to push them into doing it.
Their logic is from a POV of they dont get the benefit since they aren’t expecting parents or didn’t get that benefit if/when they wer, so why should anyone else. When really the proper evolved response is to be happy that new trends are being set and we’re improving the cruel system that keeps new parents from critically important family time.
Those 12 weeks will be no walk in the park. You rightfully state you’ll be taking care of everyone, and it’s 24/7 juggling new dynamics and a whole new human being’s needs.
Yes, people survive with less time or no time off at all. I’m convinced some brag about it like some badge of honor to make themselves feel better.
Thank you for being considerate of your family’s needs. Good luck!
What moron would pass up on 85% paid leave??
Furlough was such a sweet deal during the covid lockdowns. Like 80% pay and no work? Sign me up!
Your coworkers are fucking idiots.
I too recognize that this person’s coworkers are fucking idiots.
I three recognize that this person’s coworkers are fucking idiots.
