How about an adolescent kangaroo?
Most beasts under 80 lbs. Over 80 lbs, it’s gonna be on a case by case basis. 90 lb sloth, no problem. 81 lb wolf, …problem.
The biggest animal I feel confident in is an 800 lb human. Huge, but that fucker’s gonna be exhausted ten seconds into the fight.
Just run around them until they collapse.
Just be careful he doesn’t roll onto you.
I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.
A beached whale.
I call foul play, there was no “taking on” just “swimming near”
They brushed it slightly
Punch ones, they don’t react and swim away, you win by default
If I had bear hands then probably a small bear.
Your mom!
Ah ya bastard
T-Rex. I mean, all I gotta do is remove one pin and the whole skeleton collapses.
Definitely something smaller than a grasshopper… Lost that fight a few days ago.
Sunfish.
They are enormous wastes of flesh and evolutionary effort.
A giant squid. It would have to be on land though (you never said we had to do it in their natural habitat).
I can totally choke a chicken
Have lots of practice do we?
Hey man… I can also spank monkeys.
A blue whale, as long as we’re on land.
A large opossum. I could probably handle something larger, but I can only handle one pet at a time and I like opossums.
Yes, I understand you’re asking about the largest animal I can fight and I’m telling you that that opossum is going to become a pet if I win.
I once saw a chaparral (aka roadrunner) hold it’s own against a opossum, so I think you’ll be fine
Yeah, but I’d probably adopt whatever I fight as a pet, and I think having a pet opossum would be awesome, so that’s what I’d pick to fight.
opossum would be the perfect battle out in the forest… run up and swing at him a couple of times til he falls over… declare yourself champ and go party with your hoes… nobody goes back to check to see if the opossum got back up…
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My 3.4lb rabbit recently decided I am not a threat and started chilling in the middle of my walkway at night. She now takes multiple shoves to make move. So, not a bunny
(This took years of work on trust I am mostly bragging my bunny loves me)
I could totally take a 6-year-old human.
fuck off those things are animals
Galapagos tortoise. That’s the largest I can think of without teeth and claws, not fast, and not in water.
I mean, it’s got a shell, and turles/tortoises can still bite pretty bad without teeth, consider the snapping turtle.
A turtle is a good idea.
A shell is a great defense against a biting predator, but not great against a thinking / tool-using predator.
To be fair, since it was specified that one must fight the animal with one’s bare hands, tool use is probably cheating here
Bare hands doesn’t necessarily mean “only punches”. You can’t pick up a rock if there’s one on the ground? To me “with your bare hands” means going into the fight without preparation, with your hands empty originally. No guns, no swords, no rocket artillery. Like, you were out for a hike and a ________ attacked you.
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Avoid the front end, attack the back end.