May I also suggest, even easier than saltines, a nice tall, refreshing glass of water? The perfect meal replacement for those times when you’re too busy (or poor) to eat!
Water, like from the toilet?
Ooh la la Mr. Fancy I Have A Toilet Man. No, WATER, like from a puddle on the sidewalk.
You live somewhere where water just falls from the sky for free?
Can’t afford Brandow.
Also shitjustworks !
You greedy communist! If you do that, then Nestle can’t bottle up all that fresh mone–I mean, water, up and help the free market!
I’ll 1up you. Take half a sleeve of saltines and put them in a big glass. Pour chocolate milk in the glass until it is half full and stir until thick.
Bottoms up.
On an unrelated note, I disgust my wife.
Your wife and I have at least one thing in common.
My dad eats saltines with butter. Not peanut butter. Butter butter.
Are you my kid?
Hey, empty the dishwasher.
Maybe he’s my kid. We should do a DNA test.
It is good, like eating a buttered roll but crunchy.
Buttered saltine club, represent!
My Grandma taught me to butter the saltines when we have Chili and to scoop a little chili on the butter saltine. I might need to make some chili tonight now haha
You’re grandma knows what’s up. That’s the best way to eat chili
I know I sound disgusting, but sometimes I eat saltines and straight up dip them in/scoop up butter like it’s a dip. It’s good.
I do that but I dip them in my tomato soup.
Shit whips. It’s like buttered toast but crunchier and amazing for chili
That’s basically a Ritz but simpler.
I used to eat white rice with butter. Add salt or sugar depending on mood.
I used to do this, but between a pair of saltines and with margarine rather than butter.
I never claimed to be healthy.
I mean, American butter or European?
Europe has their own butter too?
Yea essentially the requirements to call a product ‘butter’ are stricter in Europe and American butter can have a higher water content / lower fat content than European butter. Check out this video for more info: https://youtu.be/gBfFpSMvstU
You ferment the milk before making butter. Very good. You’re basically making it out of yogurt or sour cream.
That doesn’t sound bad.
It was difficult for me to not downvote this comment haha
For the disgust or an implied perception I think it’s gross? 🤔
FWIW: I don’t dislike it; but I prefer PB.
Make little mini peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That’s what my mom would make us when she couldn’t afford bread sometimes.
I ate that all the time growing up, also did that with Ritz crackers. Had no idea it was because poor 😓
Damn look at this fat cat over here being able to afford Ritz. Us plebs get to share a singular saltine for the week. We used to take turns licking the salt off for dinner and had the soggy biscuit for breakfast the following morning.
On a serious note though, I feel ya. Hopefully your doing better as an adult. ♥️
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I’m sure other people did it for fun. Foods stamps are a weird concept as a kid. I didn’t understand why we paid with coupons and why we could only get one bread per week but the other people at the store can get anything they want.
I’ve never thought of having jam too. I used to eat them with just peanut butter all the time.
Man… I have to not buy saltines because I will literally just eat a sleeve plain.
I can just sit and eat a whole box of Triscuits if I’m not stopped, so I never buy Triscuits in any of their wonderfully delicious flavors.
I’ll eat a whole damn box before i realize what I’ve done. One day it’s gonna catch up to me and I’m gonna be the next person on my 600lb life
Unsalted saltines are just wrong though.
Those are just “ines”
It’s like some sort of absorbent material used to clean up spills
It’s basically wallpaper paste.
My cats will try and murder me for these, they give no shits about any other crackers or human non-meat food, but I’ve had one literally try and eat one out of my mouth. Makes me question what’s really in them….
A lot of animals are hyper attracted to salt, that could be it. I know a deer will lick your dried piss off a rock for some salt from my days camping.
That’s really not good for cats iirc; I think they’re super sensitive to salt
Had a cat that dearly loved noodles. Would climb all over you for a strand of spaghetti.
Image Transcription:
An image of an unopened sleeve of saltines with text over it. The text at the top reads: off work late? hungry, but too tired to cook? try eating sleeve of saltines The bottom text reads: you certainly will not regret eating sleeve of saltines
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good human
Add some cheeses, meats, fruits, and veggies and you have a bomb ass snack tray
Nah, ritz for that. Butter is a completely different story though. Especially when sick.
Club crackers over Ritz for sliced cheese, IMO.
But honestly, saltines with cheese are amazing. Especially if you have some milk.
My dad used to melt cheese and put salami on these and we would dip it in marinara. He called it poor mans pizza.
Ngl, that sounds delicious. Might try this with some salada biscuits (can’t get saltines round here) or something one day.
It honestly works with any type of cracker. I’ve even done it with Melba toast.
When I was in college I would make toast, put sauce and cheese on it, then microwave. We called it poor man’s pizza.
Don’t forget to add meat, cheese, beans, hot sauce in any combo!
Anyone still do the 4 saltines in 1 minute challenge? No drinking!
nah i do the 4 sleeves in 1 hour challenge
It sounds so easy. I don’t understand why I can’t do it.
Ok, I know you like saltines but have you tried…
R A T I O N S ! ?
Oh man I’m not good at thyroid gland plz to halp
I can eat reams of Zesta saltines by themselves. I’ve tried multiple varieties and nothing comes close.
my gramma only ever had zesta, too. but always stored in a (now antique, i’m sure) metal nabisco premium tin.
I would much rather…drink 3 beers!
Thanks Andy Richter, miss you buddy!
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