Story time: I once briefly lived in a place that had an old toilet bowl like this. You can still find them in older houses. One day I took a massive shit and then found out that the flush wasn’t strong enough to get it down from there. And there wasn’t a brush. Yikes. Just wanted to share that with you guys.
You wrap Your hand in toilet paper and give it a little push. That’s what toilet paper is for.
The trick is to put 3 pieces of toilet paper in beforehand, that way the whole shitboat can float away.
I like to imagine the shitboat floating away in flames like an epic Viking burial.
Try eating more hot sauce
My shits at my grandma’s would’ve been more comfy had I known this. I was always worried it wouldn’t flush (which happened on occasion).
Actually? Or are you joking?
Actually. Source: We has this style of toilet at my parents house.
Origami toilet brush made from toilet paper. Yikes
Did you use the poop knife?
I came here to reference this, great work.
So what did you do next? I’m thoroughly invested in the story
Got a bucket of water to flush it. After that I always had the bucket ready before starting the business. Luckily I didn’t stay there very long.
Yeah but where’s your poop knife?
aaah I get this reference
That’s what the three shells are for.
Pfffffffff he doesn’t know how the three shells work!
Wait, so I’m not supposed to throw them at other cars in traffic?
Well, I’d never want to rain on someone’s parade.
Lob away!
I’m still trying to understand which of the three shells is the correct one to use as a poop knife
All 3 held between the fingers, with a punching action.
That brings up a question; if Wolverine claws at a poop and retracts his claws, does the poop get wiped off by his gloves and skin or does the poop go into his forearm?
These are the important questions that need to be addressed. We cannot let this go unanswered by the creators.
We all are. It’s one of the bonds that keeps civilization alive. Keep searching !
ah, je mean de poop clogs?
It sure does.
The mashitty?
They had these in Germany, too. If you took a particularly massive shit sometimes the water pressure wasn’t enough to shove it into the hole.
These toilets also don’t help with covering the smell of shit.
I mean, you flush it down regardless, so I never noticed a difference as far as that goes.
If it drops right in water it’s much less smelly. I’ve used em all over different times, if you’ve got a real bad smelling poo you don’t want that on no shelf!
I already commented about a poop knife so I won’t repeat it here.
Problem has more to do with the streaks. There are many.
…then you use the brush to clean them? Is that a big deal?
Just scrape off with knife. You have to be told everything?
Just saying you have a process for dealing with the problem is not as good as solving the problem.
Is there some other problem being solved by the shelf? Like do they have really terrible water pressure and need to rely on gravity and a slope?
The poop shelf makes it easier to use the poop knife.
how do I unread this?
Finally, the hole is in the right side! Now my 12" penis feels right at home!
Great, it can drink the water
You’re not supposed to measure top to top to bottom
Just sit facing the wall.
That way you can use the shelf for your chocolate milk and comic book
8 into a backflip midair wipe for me.
#11 is called an upper decker.
Poop and scoop
I’m confused, isn’t this a better spot for the drain hole? When you sit facing the wall? So you have a shelf for your comic books and chocolate milk?
We had these here as well and i have no idea. The only thing i ever heard that made sense was it was easier to take stool samples. That makes some sense, but why would every household need them?
It looks like it’s designed to soak your balls if you flush mid-poop. I’m not into this.
I understand the Dutch may have different tastes, though.
Edit: if you go about things butters style, you’ll get an unhealthy butthole douching.
Ah, touché
Serious answer: The design had easy stool sample collection in mind.
I’ve blasted this all over Reddit back in the day and now I’ll blast it here: HOW OFTEN ARE THE DUTCH COLLECTING THEIR STOOLS THAT THEY NEED THIS KIND OF TOILET IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD? THEY USE IT EVERY DAY AND NOT JUST AT A DOCTOR’S OFFICE OR A HOSPITAL WHERE YOU WOULD THINK THAT STOOL SAMPLES WOULD BE COLLECTED OFTEN.
To this day no one has ever given me a reasonable believable explanation that makes sense. I’d be happy to hear that “all the greedy corporate toilet makers didn’t want to change their design to save money and now we’re all stuck with this dumb toilet blah blah blah” or “we Dutch folk have a special device to sit on that you don’t see in this picture that makes the design of this toilet sensible” or even “we simply love looking at a big stinky pile of s*** every time we take a dump you wouldn’t understand we’re Dutch”
I stayed in hotels and motels in the Netherlands and they all had the stupid toilet and it stanks so bad and they don’t believe in ventilated bathroom so you just have to open a window and smell it and your wife and kids have to smell it too. it’s so dumb. I ended up flushing every single turd one by one just to survive.
Meanwhile in Italy
Helps avoid the ‘Witches Kiss’
I know a poseidons kiss. Wonder if witches do the same.
Yeah Poseidon’s kiss is what I get before leaving for work. The witches kiss is what my wife gives me when I get home.
Big shlong problems
You should see the Dutch Oven….
For an extra 5€ I’ll show you a Dutch Trombone
So your shit just piles up on the upper part till it kisses your asshole?
The real problem is your turds are exposed to open air the whole time, so the smell fucking awful the whole time.
We referred to it as the poop shelf on our last visit.
Decades ago we called this the poop shelf as well.
My brother and I called it the inspection shelf as a joke. Turns out that’s what it’s actually for.
It’s a solid way to prevent neptunes kiss.
The downside is getting your balls slapped with a turd.
No kink shame ;)
It gives you the opportunity to examine it. I think that is the reason for the design.
And to savour the undiluted aroma.
“hey Sharon, SHARON GET IN HERE YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! SHARON!”
It kisses goodbye your asshole. Don’t forget from whence thy sheit falls.
Um… if you’re holding on to that much shit, you may want you see a doctor.
You’ve clearly never seen an American eat. 3 triple burgers, a large fry, and a milkshake is the standard dinner while dieting.
Based. Source: American. Downvoters could never handle Taco Bell
People who downvoted you are weak stomached non Americans
I’m sure those who down voted shame their ancestors by leaving food on their plate.
I have some experience with these. The only problem is that as the vertically standing excrement begins to collapse forwards, there is a chace for it to keep contact and drag its top portion across, from your anus towards the front. You can avoid this with a maneuver, pulling yourself up and slightly forward, right after the singular vertical log begins losing contact with the excretion area.
This is not a joke
Give this person an honorary degree in Turd Dynamics. Have you considered publishing your findings in the journal Nature?
Turdonomy AND Turdology, a double threat!
The Real Deuce of studies.
A.k.a. “Logology.”
It’s trying to touch your balls isn’t it…?
The Great Mighty Poo’s Knight
I haven’t had a nice log come out in decades. Enjoy them while you can.
Calcium carbonate anti-acids tend to make good logs.
Males need 37g of fiber daily for optimum health. That’s the equivalent of 568g of raspberries or 657g of green peas or 1,154g of broccoli. Might wanna start taking some psyllium husk so you don’t get ass cancer.
How many weetabix biscuits?
Looks like they are 3.8g per 2 biscuit serving? So like 19.5 biscuits or around 370g.
If your diet is so lacking in fiber that you need to take pills to make up for it, fix your damn diet.
Don’t take the pills - the serving size on them is very misleading. You have to take a ton of them to have any effect. Gotta go with the powder.
Nothing wrong with supplementation! It’s hard to eat that much fiber (even if your diet is good) due to the relatively low fiber density of most foods. We adapted to our food sources, not so much the other way around, and when we did adapt our food sources to us we were not thinking of maximizing fiber content - and we don’t spend all day chewing on fibrous, foraged plants anymore. Plus, psyllium husk is a food. It’d be the same as eating a shitload of flax or something but with fewer calories.
For instance, raspberries are one of the most fiber dense foods at 8g fiber/100g of berries. You’d need to eat 568g to get your RDA of fiber. The avg person eats around 1.85kg of food daily - 30% of your diet by weight would need to be raspberries (one of the most fiber dense foods) to get enough fiber. Even moreso with other fiber-rich foods, like broccoli. You’d need 1.1kg of broccoli each day (8kg/week). The sheer bulk of that amount of food would be challenging for most people and just isn’t practical.
So you eat half a kilo of raspberries, and then the rest of your diet is a juice cleanse? Here an example diet: oats for breakfast (6 g), a sandwich loaded with greens for lunch (4 g), chili for dinner (15 g). Throw in an apple for a snack (5 g). It’s really not that hard.
The National Academy of Medicine recommends:
• Women 51 and older: 21 grams of fiber per day
• Men 51 and older: 30 grams of fiber per dayNow your numbers go with 45 g per day, but honestly that example diet would leave me hungry. I’d probably also have a peanut butter and banana sandwich (7 g). Throw in a small amount of berries or raisins into the breakfast oats and we’ve hit your higher target.
Fair enough! I can be a little harder to hit consistently in practice depending on the level of variety in your diet, if you go out occasionally, etc. In my opinion and personal experience, anyway. But that is a solid and reasonable meal plan without a doubt.
The raspberries example was more an example of if one were to “fibermax” as the kids will be saying in 20yrs. Trying to most efficiently achieve the RDA with the most fiber dense foods possible - not intended as an actual, reasonable diet.
37g is still low. A good target to aim for is 100g.
Haven’t you thought of shitting in a backwards sitting position?
I prefer the kiss of poseidon over the casualities of deforestation
How else are you supposed to flush your nuts
literal take on shitposting
