While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say “poop poop” then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.
Everything is about shitting -> Power is about shitting
Power is about shitting -> shitting is about power
Repeat
this whole thread, I’m crying
Dominance is the key
I’m not sure you’d win. This is a man with decades of Pavlovian training, who can literally fart on command given the right keyword. It’s a pretty wild gamble to assume that “poop poop” is not in his repertoire.
I’m pretty sure the oncoming fart triggers the “toot toot”, not the phrase triggering a fart. However you may be correct about the pavlovian aspect.
Are you sure it’s not the other way around? Maybe he just says toot toot to be sure it’s not a turd arriving…
The moment you hear that third Saiyan “POOOOP” and realize you’ve woefully miscalculated.
Heres what you do - go to the bank today, get $50 in pennies…
RDJ really has some big boots to fill.
RDJ really has some big
bootstoots to fill.Ftfy
It’s impacting my morale and performance
I can’t think of a funnier sentence if I tried
toot. toot. toot. TOOOOOT
and that’s how the universe got created kids
That’s a shart
Baby shart do do dodo dodo
I mean yes, as far as I can tell most of the universe is, in fact, shit.
And on the fourth toot, God evacuated the heaven and the earth.
Straight up Beetlejuiced a nasty fart into existence.
It was, in fact, showtime.
Wasn’t someone saying “toot toot” and farting a part of Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide? Lol
That show holds up so well I swear to god
And just like that my suspension of disbelief in this story is shattered. I hope you’re happy.
Memory unlocked
Howdy fellow amphibian 🎩🐸
M’Toad 👒
Confirmed, OOPs boss is Timmy Toot Toot as an adult lmfao
Holy URLs Batman!
When you’re so passive-aggressive that you encode your hate in a PERL script.
What is up with that title
Don’t worry about it. Just don’t message soap members. Ok?
You unlock legendary at 4 toots.
The forth one is always a shart.
Sally forth!
Maybe for you, rookie
You say that like it’s a bad thing…
Only 0.04% of employees have this
Holy shit, I’m putting this one on my
SteamLinkedIn showcase!Is there a strategy guide online for this trophy?
gotta kiss a lot of ass to get that promotion
Better out than in, as our holy green swamp ogre says
move out of the UK
move boss out of the UK
I learned to dab while sneezing back when the meme wasn’t dead yet. I got so used to it, that I do that to this day. At least my palms are clean
I learned to sneeze like that long before dabbing was a thing and it wasn’t until someone commented that I just dabbed on them that it connected those dots.
Regardless, I still sneeze in my elbow.
Haha, I thought I was the only one!
I started doing it to annoy my wife, but now I still do it, and it’s taking considerable concentration to not dab when I sneeze.
Well, I would love it if my tightly wound boss would pull something like this. Way out of character.
As a college student, I walked into the multi-use bathroom, and proceeded to a urinal. Strange, rhythmic, wet sounds were coming from the lone stall in use. I thought, “Okay, what the hell is this?” and tried to wrap things up quick, in case things got weird. Too late. I then hear another strange sound from the stall, something like crinkling wax paper. None of this made sense to my young mind. Then I hear a wet “plop” from the stall, and more crinkling wax paper noises. I quickly finish up, and turn to leave. On the floor of the stall I can see a partially eaten Subway sandwich. Unbelievable
This base human then picks up the sandwich, and continues eating.
To this day, I do not eat Subway.
“he only ever does two, don’t be ridiculous”
This is the most British response to a situation like this you could possibly get.
Another benefit of working from home.
I worked for a prof who prides himself on being an absolutely disgusting human being. Everyone has stories about talking with him in his office and then lifting his ass on one side to let rip. To make things worse, he had a fridge in his lab that he filled with booze and the stinkiest cheeses he could find, so his breath and farts were so bad they could make paint peel.
There’s crazy stories about him traveling to an international conference and puking on the guy sitting beside him and shitting his pants on the same flight.
Then on a university sponsored trip (with other biology profs/researchers) to recruit new students and research collaboration, he drank some brown bubbling “wine” that he vought from a street vendor, that everyone else refused to drink, he shat his hotel bed 3 nights in a row and every time the hotel tried to charge him for it he claimed it was just chocolate that he had been eating in bed. They then proceeded to a remote research station up on a mtn and when they arrived he rushed to the bathroom and broke the toilet immediately. They had to spend close to a week there, with no functioning toilet.
Hope your boss never reaches those levels of depravity, lol.
Edit: spelling.
woah
Thank you for this disgusting and amusing legend.
This is fucking insane. Whatever outcome was the most disgusting this guy made manifest. Just an absolute goblin of a being. Fantastic.
He was also a taxonomist with a specialty in parasitology (I worked for him doing parasitology work on fish) turns out when he first met his to be wife (anecdote that came directly from him) he went fishing, and brought the fish to his to-be in-laws where he was sure to point out evert parasite in the fish that they would then go on to eat.
The farts are hilarious.
The cheese is wait and see.
The puking is assault.
The rest is just the shits I guess.
The “shits and giggles” crowd when the shits begin: 😦
If that’s the only issue? Ignore it and carry on. Consider yourself lucky.
