Y’all’s about to see a Canadian’s real war face… On their homeland.
Whoa there your choices are snow, jungle, desert, or Arctic ice if you join the US side. Come on how many wars do you get to choose which server environment to play on? And if we do really good we can get the DLC level European Island Country! They say that one will feature the Navy more prominently.
I already did desert. I think I wanna try jungle this time?
I was thinking snow is a nice change of pace. As a bonus there’s a lot of ice rinks!
And you’ll either get maple syrup, vodka, or smoked salmon. So much winning.
Mmm poutine, served in the helmet of my frenemies.
Weee! Yeah all this climate change going on, I haven’t seen more than half an inch of snow yet. 10 years ago it would be knee to thigh deep by now. I wanna see pretty snow again before I die.
Too late that was 1955-1975.
There’s plenty of jungles left!
Let’s not joke hear CA doesn’t stand a chance. They’ve no nukes. They lack economic power. And they don’t have a cultural identity beyond “hey we aren’t America”. The last thing Canada wants is to fight a global super power.
Congress needs to ask the pentagon why they maintain a wide threatening lead I’m Zamboni technology!
Just think of all those US soldiers slipping and sliding across the zamboni fields while the graceful Canadians glide on their skis. No attacker stands a chance.
They’ve no nukes.
You’re gonna nuke an upwind state that you’d like to conquer? It’d be a drone fight like Ukraine.
They lack economic power.
they don’t have a cultural identity
Dude, that’s bogus. This is literally the same bullshit Putin says about Ukraine.
They aren’t talking about California
Oh. Good point. 🤦♂️
Well in that case everything but economic power still stands.
“Hey we aren’t X” has earned the presidency of the United States every 4 years for at least as long as I’ve been alive. Never doubt the power of “hey we aren’t X”.
In fact, that should be Metas new slogan.
Bluesky: Hey we aren’t X
Germany, Austria and Switzerland speak German, and are still different countries. US, UK, Canada, NZ and Australia speak English, and are different countries France and Belgium speak French, are different countries. The entire Arabic speaking world is spread across like 20 countries. Russia and Ukraine both speak Russian*, and one tried to merge with the other, violently, and are now bitter enemies probably forever…
Is “Fuck off and leave people alone” an option in peoples brains?
The last thing the US wants is to be a pariah to the UK, Australia, NZ and South Africa. Them old commonwealth loyalties run deep. Not to mention France would take extreme exception to Quebec.
Even if we didnt intervene militarily we all love Canada, It would be economic suicide.
South Africa is already against America, they’re in bed with China and Russia, they’re the S of “BRICS”
And the B has a semi socialist leader trying to clean up Bolsonaro’s mess. Definitely not a monolith.
more like global super senile and retarded amirite
I here you but what if they challenge us to a hockey game? I don’t think we’re prepared for how ugly this can get.
And it’s hockey season, you ever try to get between a Canadian and a good hockey game? They’ll win so fast they don’t have time to get sober!
Canada sucked major ass at the world juniors this year. USA has won back to back.
Sir I assure you this community tolerates only the most serious conversations.
Sure, maybe they’d win the invasion easily, but can they win an occupation of a hostile populace for an indeterminate duration? The 21st Century repeatedly suggests the answer to that is “no, eh”.
occupation of people who are virtually indistinguishable at a glance. Just ask the Russians how that worked out in Eastern Ukraine, the only way they could ever secure the place was by killing pretty much everyone.
…last i heard, canadian snipers outperform the finns…
That is literally the most terrifying thing you could’ve said.
…canadians may be low-key, but they don’t f*ck around…
I too am proud about things I did nothing to be.
Actually, being American takes a lot of work. You have to pretend to be cisgender or you’ll die. Being a dead american, sure, you’re right. But being an alive american is hard.
Why do you need to bring gender politics into it. Public schools here will kill you faster than most anything else (other than giving birth to your rapist’s child)
Why do you need to bring gender politics into it.
Jeez, can’t you take a joke?
No take, only give.
I can’t think of anything funny to say right now :(
Oh definitely. Give me a side to fight on. I haven’t forgotten you Canada an all the wars we fought side by side together.
Thank you for your future service.
We pay in healthcare and not giving a damn if you smoke up.
🍁🫡
Once trump cuts off all government funding from the blue states as he keeps threatening to do, maybe they could join Canada as provinces. It should be win-win considering the blue states contribute more to the federal govt. than they receive from it; while red states receive more than they contribute. So they would make Canada stronger and Trumpistan weaker. Trump wants to expand US lands to impress his idol putin and be like him, but instead he would lose territory.
It’s a nice idea, but they should be independent.
California has a larger population (and also GDP, I believe) than Canada.
It makes no sense that Canada would want to more than double its population overnight.
Create a Union. Let Europe help - we’re VERY interested in a strong and democratic North American continent, and perhaps we can teach one or two things about democratic resiliency to the so-called “land of the free”.
It’s interesting to think about. If the blue states, which are not contiguous, seceded and joined together as a nation, they’d be scattered groups of states and easily defeated. But if they formed a union with Canada (the NAU?), then at least the territory of the NAU would be contiguous because most of the blue clumps are adjacent to Canada: the NE states, west coast states, Minnesota, probably Michigan, and then Illinois, which might be isolated depending on how Wisconsin would go. Colorado and New Mexico would still be isolated. Maybe they could defeat Arizona and be linked up with the west coast.
Then there’d be the issue of the US capital being D.C which along with its surroundings is overwhelmingly blue, so it would just have to be taken as part of the NE section, and Trumpistan would have to have its capital elsewhere.
All this theorizing ignores the number one internal problem of the US. It’s not state versus state, it’s urban versus rural. I’m in one of the reddest states in the nation, but I live in the capital where we have a decent democrat mayor. Most people would even laugh at calling this a city, but the urban/rural cultural divide is huge even here. Leave the “cities” and there are traitor flags everywhere. Ethnic minorities do not do well out in the country.
Of course. I live in a red state myself so I know what you mean about urban vs. rural. But Trump didn’t think about that when he withheld federal aid from California for the 2018 wildfires. He had to be told that he had lots of supporters in CA; they even had to show him the voter rolls to prove it to him and only then did he approve the aid. See https://www.politico.com/news/2024/10/03/helene-trump-politics-natural-disaster-00182419
“We went as far as looking up how many votes he got in those impacted areas … to show him these are people who voted for you,” Harvey told Politico.
But like I said, it’s just interesting to think about how things could go. There would necessarily be a pretty massive population redistribution both into and out of the seceding states. There would likely be a war or at least many battles over territory so many of the states’ boundaries would change as well. Then there’s all the military bases, missile silos, and other national-level facilities spread among many states to be dealt with.
Right on. It’s definitely interesting to talk about. I feel like many people still have this civil war mentality of fuck the South they can have what they voted for. People argue whether my state is in the “south” but our history is secession to join the union. There were not many slaves here, therefore not wealthy slavemasters, therefore many people preferred to side with the North.
I had heard about Trump’s revenge money bullshit before but thanks for the link to have it on hard copy.
Population redistribution: Again interesting to talk about, but the reality is most Americans lack the money needed to move. We’re stuck with what we got. That’s just economic concerns. My wife and I have the money to move, but we can’t because we don’t want to leave her elderly mother, who will not move, behind. A third concern, for us at least, is pride. Historically our state left the Confederacy. We had labor fights here that put many to shame. Sometimes it was straight up like a war between the workers and the strikebreakers.
We have devolved since due to propaganda, racism, and identity politics. But I do not want my state to fall to the assholes. The left here is armed and nobody will want to fight against an entrenched insurgency in these mountains.
Are you talking about certain areas/counties in some of the seceding states (e.g AL, MS, TN) where people opposed secession and rebelled or otherwise refused to participate in the Confederacy? I haven’t heard of a state seceding from the confederacy.
On people moving: As things are today, it’s too expensive for many people to be able to relocate as a practical matter, but if things ever deteriorated to the degree we’re talking about, the stakes change drastically. If there’s a war, or some people are about to get trapped where they don’t want to or are afraid to be, it’s no longer “can I find a decent job and place to live there and afford moving expenses?” but becomes “I’ve got to get out of here any way I can even if I can’t take anything with me and don’t know how I’ll get by once I’m there.” Especially people who fear for their lives or safety in a country where they are hated or considered less than human by the majority.
In the rust belt? Or Florida?
If there’s a dynasty, it’d probably be at MaraLago, but my bet would be on Texas.
can you imagine, their handlers would be reeling from loss of all these warm water ports
It would be good to have an established federal government. Knowing america, though, we would fuck that up real quick.
The only meaningful argument against secession is that individual states would be weaker against invaders.
Except it didn’t work. We were invaded over the internet and lost. What are we protecting ourselves against? Being invaded by a world power that gives its people health care? Losing the democracy we just lost despite never having it to begin with?
The USA is bad for everyone now… Even Americans.
Here me out on this:
- Join the war on the US side
- Be really bad at your job, causing tons of friendly fire accidents
- Defect to Canada before they catch you
- Enjoy some well earned pancakes with authentic maple syrup
If you go to Canada right away, there’s no way you’re getting the maple syrup rations as a foreigner.
You could definitely do more damage in the US military than fighting against them, and if you’re smart, they’d never be able to prove malicious intent.
Drive a forklift into a fighter jet, for example. Millions in damage, and they’ll just think you’re a moron.
They wouldn’t be wrong.
Only doing this if I get a moose steak with those pancakes.
Moose aren’t like a sacred animal in Canada right?
Moose are revered and they are to be respected!! They can stomp your face effortlessly.
I believe Aboriginal cultures have many deep ties with the moose. I think some people hunt and eat them, but it’s not really a thing on a menu where I am (urban west coast), and is moreso a maritime/Newfoundland menu thing.
Regardless, we build many statues to them: (I have only seen one of these in person [top right, Deer Lake Newfoundland].)
Image transcription: Five moose statues from around Canada. Moose are 2m or
86.5-7 feet tall (at the shoulder), so these are some bigass sculptures. One, which was a memorial for a man who died of cancer, is now covered in bras for breast cancer awareness/fundraising.Edit: converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head.
converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head
Just multiply by three and then say fuck it. For bigger numbers just add a random amount.
We multiply by pi all the run time, feet to meters is basically the same thing.
Every so often I see a video of someone trying to mess with a moose, and I can only assume it’s because they are suicidal. Unless you have a gun and decent distance, a moose will fuck your shit up.
Re: statues, we have this beautiful bastard in Cow Bay, NS!
Sometimes a gun and distance isn’t enough, those suckers can move.
You’ll have to fight the Mounties for them:
you know how people were asking how people in Russia weren’t violently fighting against Putin when he started the ukrane-russia war?
OP’s full name:
Lockmart Heedin
You support moose knuckles?
🎶 …and I’m ashamed to be an American, where dying in gutters called “free…” 🎶
Cope for when you’re auto-balanced.
I follow the proud American tradition my grandfather had of fighting fascism.
If the government of the states decides to be fascist, well…
Fuck you. Don’t bring my Nazi killing grandfathers into this. I’m trying to sleep well at night in my shame over here bro!
Did I really need a /s for this? My family literally has a history of killing Nazis at scale. My grandfather was a bomber pilot.
I’ve always wondered, which movie was this frame from?
Pretty sure its Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz, the middle movie of the cornetto trilogy!
Thanks! Gonna give it a watch
I envy you watching it for the first time.
I think it’s the best film of the 3.
