Summary
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem has ordered lie detector tests for DHS staff to identify leaks that allegedly foiled immigration raids, including a failed Colorado operation targeting Venezuelan gang members.
The directive, leaked to Bloomberg, requires polygraph questions about unauthorized communications with media and nonprofits. Despite polygraphs’ unreliability, DHS insists they are necessary for national security.
The crackdown follows frustration from Trump’s border czar Tom Homan over compromised raids and aligns with broader MAGA-era efforts to control government communication.
Dhs should take the classes the inventor of the lie detector offers on how to beat it
Despite polygraphs’ unreliability, DHS insists they are necessary for national security.
in keeping with tradition, “national security” continues to mean “because i say so”.
People like her are dumb enough to believe “lie detector” tests are completely dependable and always print out perfectly clear “lie” and “not lie” results. Everyone else knows polygraph tests are inadmissible in court for a reason and require a lot of careful prep and interpretation. Even then, they’re far from 100%.
What’s the betting that this is the result of indiscreet dick waving from more MAGA centred members of staff?
Daily reminder that there’s no such thing as an accurate lie detector test. Completely unscientific. Illegal to use except by government and it’s basically a scare tactic/way to deny/fire people they don’t have other cause for.
Ah, you have half of it.
Totally made up metrics but used by govt. Meaning that if there was ever an easy way to purge ICE and DHS of brown people, this is an easy, no fuss way to do it.
If the lie detectors don’t work, torture is always an option.
Do we call them the Gestapo yet or is it too soon?
Lie detectors don’t work except as an intimidation technique so, yes, it’s Gestapo time.
They work great…
At detecting how nervous someone is.
Just completely shut at detecting when someone’s lying.
Yup. Sociopaths are invisible on the lie detector. Plus these days, it isn’t that hard to build a biofeedback practice device so people control the metrics monitored by the polygraph.
Lie detectors are known to not work
That’s gazpacho! - Empty G.
Or Despacito
I reckon she’s also somewhat leaky.
What are the odds of her submitting to a test?
Zero.
Why is Noem wearing a bulletproof vest in a staff meeting?
Cuz she’s a bitch and she expects what she did to that dog
Realistic assessment of the mood of people forced to be around her?
Honestly ya may not be far off, humans even profligates like those in Trumps orbit have a generally good enough ability to detect when folks are pissed at them. When said pissed folks have access to weapons, are more intelligent than you, and probably think what you are saying is beyond stupid then well wearing a comfort vest is probably the only thing keeping her from booking it out of the room.
Maybe ICE ordered a bunch of pizza the night before and the delivery kid tipped people off.
It’s a thing about the nervous systems of old world primates, like us, we’re always making those assessments.
She’s LARPing.
Which is why she’s ordered the lie detectors. They only know what they see in the movies, and lie detectors are one of their favorite devices.
She’s a very serious person with very serious things going on! /s
She’s worried someone will put her down like she did her dog
and her 3 horses. she has a natural fear of gravel pits, or any dugout pits.
You ever seen the dictator warlords constantly wearing miliary gear with too much polish and a thousand made up medals?
That’s why.
Funniest thing about that is they only help in an all-out fire fight to protect your vital bits except the head which would have a helmet. She’s not going into any situation nearly so dangerous and if someone wanted to take her out, specifically, there’s plenty of options.
She might as well have a mall ninja sword strapped to her back.
She might as well have a mall ninja sword strapped to her back.
If we get nothing else from this shitshow, let it be this.
She wants to feel special
maybe animals lovers might not like her.
Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza
It’s a lie if the person interpreting the test says it is.
The card said moops
It should be pretty common knowledge that lie detector tests are completely bogus and can’t be trusted. They’re not admissible in court cases. Polygraph tests are proven to be made up pseudoscience.
They might as well try using crystal pendulum tests to dowse out the national security threats.
I want to point out - the results are inadmissible, but anything you say IS admissable.
A polygraph is an interrogation technique. And to this day I still don’t know why they try to use it with so many things. Like security clearance. It doesn’t really give them any insight into anything about you, other than if you like to run your mouth
All the kings horses
and all the kings men
Couldn’t make Americans think
cops were bad again
Oooh, when do we get to deploy the E-Meters?
I have a device to sell to the DHS: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADE_651
I’m going to sell divining rods to help find the immigrants.
I’m holding out for the testicle electrodes.
Removed by mod
Meanwhile, I’ve told the absolute truth and failed. Polygraphs are dumb as shit.
Polygraphs terrify me, I’ve never had to do one, but I know I’m always holding in huge waves of anxiety and paranoia. Which you know is all lie detector tests do, is read signs of nervousness. Hence they have a high false positive amoung people who are anxious and are completely unable to detect anything on psychopaths and people with strong emotional control (as well as those who have learned tricks to game the system… (IE methods to make symptoms show stronger on the baseline questions so that you can lessen them on questions you are lying during).
Honestly, that’s all they’re good for: creating paranoia/terror/nervousness in the subject. Go read the ‘how to beat a polygraph’ book. Knowledge is calming.
Also? It’s not anything to do with symptoms showing stronger on baseline questions. The only big giveaway is breathing. I work in the medical field. Blood pressure, heart rate, bla bla bla… they all vary with frequencies and magnitudes that don’t allow them to be filtered from responses that do signify anything. The only vital sign that has a low enough rate for changes to really be detected is how often you take a breath. If you control that, the game is over. A really observant tester watching a testee attempting (poorly) to mask breathing rate may notice something is off, but it’s still a judgement call whether it’s due to nervousness and the attempt to calm down, or actual deception.
The best way to ‘pass’ a polygraph is to be just nice/cute enough to get the tester to like you somewhat, and then control your breathing. The proper test has them talking to you for at least a half hour beforehand so they can ‘get an idea’ about you, so you have plenty of time to be friendly. Take advantage of that. There is some nice research out there about self-disclosures and their effect on being liked. If they see a pattern that could be you being nervous, could be you trying to deceive, being liked will tip them towards the kinder perception.
Lol i would absolutely bomb a polygraph, nervous as fuck, cant breath for shit (deviated septum, severe allergies, probably sleep apnea)
I’m pretty sure I’d fail one. I have some issues if I get interrogated I just look guilty I guess.
Polygraphs are a tool for interrogations. It cannot detect lies. You can easily get around them, just read The Lie Behind The Lie Detector.
Gucci just needs to come out with bullet proof vests. They won’t work for shit, but all the republican women will buy one.
“This isn’t a game,” Homan raged to the Associated Press. “We know that TDA is dangerous. Everybody can agree to that, but when they get a heads-up that we are coming, it’s only a matter of time before our officers are ambushed. Their job is dangerous enough. So we are going to address this very seriously.”
I don’t think that leaking this is a good idea, but come on. If gangs find out in advance that they’re about to be raided, are they going to disappear or seriously voluntarily going to stay and have a shootout with DHS?
Like, this can certainly mess up investigations, but I have a pretty hard time believing that it’s going to get DHS agents killed.
